


Stars collided

by Deemadus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Adorable Grogu | Baby Yoda, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Avengers - Freeform, Between Avengers (2012) and Thor: The Dark World, Blood and Injury, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Grogu | Baby Yoda Being a Little Shit, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loki & Thor Bro Feels (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Mind Control, Multiverse, No Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Din Djarin, The Force, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 40,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28553823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deemadus/pseuds/Deemadus
Summary: Din's loneliness breaks after Luke sends him to a mission to find Grogu. However, mission gets weirder after he gets sucked into a wormhole.Meanwhile, post-Avengers Loki has escaped from Asgard and returned to Midgard. After cutting ties with Thanos, he is alone, outlaw and vulnerable. To ensure his safety, he reaches into another universe with surprising consequences.Post Mandalorian season 2 (so spoilers) and post Avengers (so infinity war etc haven't happened but you know Thanos exists, pray that I don't drop him in)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 150





	1. Mission to the Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, nice to see ya. This is my first fic that I have written in English, so please point out if I make major mistakes. I really hope this is at least readable. Anyways I really have low standards for this so get ready for plotholes, no betareading and shit. But we're gonna have fun.

The Mandalorian was sitting in a bar on some sandy planet. He had just given away another target for money. The number of credits however didn’t warm his heart. Nothing felt the same. Without Grogu, he was lost.

Din leaned his head against the wall and sighed. Other customers were dancing, drinking, and having fun. The thumping beat of music made his head hurt. He got up and was about to leave, but then he spotted a familiar cross-shaped spaceship on the orange sky.

The X-wing landed outside. Could it be? No, it had to be just another New Republic soldier, probably after some criminal. The presence of the Republic had grown even here on the side of the galaxy.

No, it wasn’t a soldier. The owner of the ship was wearing a long black cape and a hood covering half of his face. The Mandalorian stood up. If the Jedi was here, it meant Grogu was with him. 

The Jedi dropped the hood, revealing a brown-haired young man. Luke Skywalker walked straight to Din, not even looking at any other customers. Had something happened to Grogu? By old habit, his hand reached his blaster.

"You're hard to find," Skywalker said.

"That's kinda the point," Din answered. Even though he didn't have Grogu anymore, he had enough enemies of his own.

Luke lowered his voice. "Grogu has gone missing."

Din's heart started beating faster. “Where?”

"I don’t know. I wished to see him with you, he wouldn’t stop talking about you. But because he isn’t here, that means my intuition seems to be right. His disappearance has a bigger meaning.” 

“When did this happen?”

“One morning he was gone. The night before he was acting strange, as he had sensed something I did not.”

"Got any leads?" Din walked out of the noisy bar and headed to his ship, Luke following close by. This new ship was nothing compared to Razor Crest, but it was a bit steadier and faster.

"The Force has had strange vibrations lately. I have a feeling it is connected to Grogu. There’s a place in this galaxy, where I last sensed Grogu’s presence. I can give you the coordinates," Luke said and looked at the Mandalorian. "I wish I could come with you, but I have other padawans to look after.”

Din drove off a random droid that was checking his ship out. "What should I except once I arrive there? Is there a planet or something?"

“Not as I am aware. It’s on the side of this galaxy, so maps show nothing.”

Din nodded. “Where do I find you once I’m done?”

Luke waved his hand. “I will find you. Good luck on your path, friend.”

"Thank you. Goodbye," Din said and hopped into his ship. His body was bustling in excitement. He would see his so- Grogu again. If anyone had even grazed him, they would be dead.

Din started his ship. The equipment started humming. The space map opened on the ship’s dashboard. The blue glowing image didn’t show anything but an empty space at the coordinates. No stars, no meteors, nothing. So, Grogu had to be on a ship. Din’s body jolted as he exited the atmosphere. He jumped into lightspeed.

He didn’t arrive right at the coordinates. If there was an Imperial ship, he couldn’t get in without help. Space fighting wasn’t his strength. Din needed back-up if that would be the case. Fett would likely help him, at least if he paid for it.

But there was nothing there. As he flew closer, his eyes were seeking for anything. The radar also was silent. Maybe Skywalker was mistaken. The Force was a mystery to Din, so he didn’t understand how anybody could even sense anything with it. But if Skywalker was wrong, where was Grogu? This was his only lead. Din pulled closer and finally saw something in the middle of blackness spotted with white stars.

The space was bending. It was strange, but the lights of the stars looked like they had been broken. Endless blackness gained violet tint as he approached. There was something floating there, but it was nothing like he had seen before. Black hole? No, he would have already gotten sucked into it.

BEEP, BEEP, the warning bells started to sing. The lights were flashing red.

“Diagnostics,” Din said and tried to stop the ship, but it kept sliding closer to the violet circle.

“Strong outside force is pulling the ship apart,” told the ship’s computer with a monotonic voice.

“And what can I do about it?”

“The motor cannot resist this force. Evacuate the ship immediately.”  
Din stood up. He had a space suitable helmet somewhere for emergencies. Before he could get it, the ship was sucked into the circle.

Din couldn’t do anything but to hold onto his chair and hope he wouldn’t die. He closed his eyes under his helmet and thought about Grogu. The ship was creaking and pieces clicked away from each other.

Everything was white for a second, but then he and his ship hit the ground. Din flied across a grass field with the ship parts. He landed, almost breaking his neck. The collision hit the wind out of him. He gasped for air but was otherwise surprisingly fine. However, his ship had vanished. Just a bunch of metal pieces and scrap lied on the grass. Where was he? He held his head and looked around.

The flat grass field wasn’t large. There were a few trees alongside a road, where human-looking aliens were walking. Further he saw medium high glass skyscrapers. People pointed at him and talked, but Din couldn’t hear. He gazed at the sky, which was bright blue with only one sun. Din shook his head and got up, letting out a grunt. He limped towards a lady in a blue dress. She was playing with her child.

“Where am I?” he asked. The lady looked at him with fear on her face.

“New York City, weirdo”, she said. “Is this a candid camera? I’m not in the mood right now.” She walked away, dragging her child.

New York City said nothing to Din. He tried to get a holomap from his braces, but it had broken in the crash. At least his beskar armour had protected him. It looked as shiny as ever.

“Hey, it is true you are from space? Are you gonna ask us to kneel as well?” Some guy with a cap stopped by and asked.

“Kneel?” Din said in confusion. From space? Everyone was from space. What the hell was this backwater? Why did everyone act as if they had never seen a ship to land… well, land unsuccessfully? “What is this planet?”

“Haha, I see. You’re one of those sci-fi nerds. Please get your heads from the clouds and come back to Earth.”

Din sighed. Earth? He had travelled a lot because of his work, but he had never heard about it. How far had the wormhole or whatever took him? “Alright. Last question. Where is the closest inn?”

The man shook his head and mumbled something about stupid adults trying to be kids again. “Over there,” he pointed and continued walking to the opposite direction.

Din sighed. He had no choice but go there and hope to find someone with knowledge. After gathering all the stuff he was able to find from the crashing spot, he headed to a crosswalk. He had only his weapons, the beskar spear, a rifle, and a blaster. When Skywalker had taken Grogu, Din had just left the Darksaber to Bo-Katan. He hadn’t really been in the mood for any fights. But now, when he knew Grogu was possibly in danger, he was ready to clear his path with force if he had to.

He didn’t know that someone was following him a few meters away. Someone, who wouldn’t be happy about any mess Din would cause.


	2. The metal men meeting

Din made his way to the inn. He crossed a crowded road. For some reason, many people wanted to take a picture with him, but he just kept going. He almost got ran over by a speeder, which was strange, as speeders here looked awfully slow. Spaceships where nowhere to be found. Even in the most rural planets those existed, but this “Earth” was something else.

The inn didn’t look shady enough. Everything was clean, people were enjoying fancy dinners in fancy suits. Din wondered if the Guild was known here. He walked to a counter, where a young woman with a big smile was waiting for him.

“How can we help you, sir?” she asked.

“I need information. Do you know if there is any Guild members?” 

Her face frowned. “I am sorry sir, but I’m afraid I do not. Also, is that a real weapon?” She pointed at the blaster hanging on his hip.

“What about it?” Din asked and reached his hand to gun holder, ready to shoot. 

Her smile vanished. She grabbed a communicator and run to a door behind her. Other customers started looking anxious. This clearly wasn’t that kind of inn he looked for. Any unnecessary panic was always bad, especially in surroundings he was not familiar with.

“Hey. Everyone stay calm. I’m not here to hurt you,” he said and lifted his hands.

The crowd did not indeed stay calm. Everybody started running to the doors. Din didn’t understand. The Mandalorians were feared and respected across the galaxies, but this was just pure panic. In addition, what kind of inn didn’t allow weapons? How else were you going to protect yourself?

He was about to leave, but a heavily armoured man dropped from the sky. He blocked the doorway after everyone but Din had left. The armour was red and gold, and the helmet had to rectangular glowing eyes. The craftwork of the helmet didn’t remind Din of anything familiar. It was not a Mandalorian, at least.

“You stay right there,” said the man and pointed Din with his hands. They had blue lights on the palm. In the middle of the man’s chest there was also a similar blue beacon.

“I go where I want to,” Din said. He was ready to grab his blaster any moment.

“Yeah, this is a free country. To humans, not to space aliens. What are you doing here?”

“I’m trying to find out where am I. I lost my ship in an accident.”

“Well, welcome to the United States. Now that you’ve already freaked out half of the population, could you just leave?”

“I said I lost my ship.”

“So, what if you drop your weapons and take out that helmet? Then we can talk.”

“A Mandalorian never takes off the helmet in front of the living,” Din said. Well, that rule was a bit outdated. But he wouldn’t show his face to just anyone, especially to a threatening stranger. The helmet didn’t exist for just fashion.

“Alright, mandarin. Drop weapons still stands.”

Din thought about his options. He was alone at an unknown planet with no clear way out. He wasn’t going to surrender to a random man in a suit. He had to stay alive to find Grogu.

Din took his blaster and shot the armoured man. The laser did nearly no damage. He switched to his beskar spear.

“Not very wise to go against Ironman,” the man said and blasted laser out of his right hand. Din dodged and rolled behind the counter.

Loud sirens approached the inn from outside. Din saw two speeders with blue and red lights on their tops. Local military, probably. Well, that was fast.

Ironman flew above the ground and tried to take eye contact with Din. “This is starting to look really bad in the media buddy,” Ironman said. 

Din was about to blast him harder but stopped. “Perhaps we can come to an agreement,” Din said. “No shackles, no tricks. You and I walk out as nothing happened. I will leave this planet as soon as I get what I need.”

“What do you need? If it has anything to do with creating an empire and enslaving humans, I will pass,” Ironman said.

The Empire? Finally, something familiar. “I hate the Empire as much as you do. I just need a ship.”

Ironman considered. “Deal. Hold my hand or something. I got this covered.”

Din stood up from his hide spot but didn’t take Ironman’s hand. They walked out, where a bunch of flashing lights and guys with weapons welcomed them.

“Who is he?” screamed one woman. Din knew that it had to be a reporter. Regardless the planet they were noisy and annoying.

“This right here”, Ironman said and tapped Din’s shoulder, “is a new prototype of a suit. It was on a test flight which sadly failed. Stark Industries will cover any damage.”

“A prototype?” Din whispered annoyed.

“Just play along,” Ironman hissed. “It’s AI is far from being completed, so please excuse me now.”

A shiny, expensive looking car pulled to the road. Ironman gestured Din to follow, so he sat on the backseat with Tony. There was no one driving.

“J.A.R.V.I.S, to the Avengers tower, please,” Ironman said. He took off his helmet, revealing a human face with dark eyes and a beard.

“As you wish sir.”

Droids. Of course, even in this rathole there were droids. Though, after IG-11 had sacrificed himself, Din didn’t hate them as much.

Ironman wrung his hands but forced a smile. “So, my name is Tony Stark. Many know me as Ironman.”

Din didn’t want to answer. He didn’t trust this man at all.

“Do you have a name?” Tony asked.

“For strangers like you, it’s Mandalorian.”

“Got it, mandolin. Where are you from?”

“Clearly not from here.”

“Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down? Are you from Asgard?”

“What’s Asgard?”

Tony nodded and rubbed his jaw. “I thought so. You don’t look Viking enough.”

“Get me a ship and I’m out of here. Then both of us are happy,” Din said and crossed his arms. His thoughts flashed to Grogu. What if he was in danger? He had to hurry and not waste time with this brat.

“Spaceships aren’t something you can buy from grocery store, so that will take a while.” 

“Any can do. I have flied with one that was held together by fish web, so I’m not picky.”

The car arrived at a tower with a big A on it. It didn’t look like a prison, so Din relaxed a bit. The technology here, apart from the Ironman armour, seemed to be low level. He could fight off his way if he had to. He had still a full set of whistling birds on his arm and his beskar spear.

They left the car and entered the building’s lobby. Big windows brought all the sunshine inside. The floor was shiny as glass, and alongside walls there were few pot plants. Very business-like, and Din felt better, but also anxious because there were still no signs of star ships.

There were men in suits waiting. Like in fancy suits, black and white. They had covered their eyes with sunglasses and tried to look tough. They stopped Tony and Din.

The most badass looking one, a bald dark-skinned man with an eyepatch, had a gun on his belt. Din bet he was the leader.

“What are you doing here, Fury?” Tony asked the man.

“Stark. What have you got there?” Fury said with a deep and serious voice. His eye was at Din, calculating.

“A smoothie,” Tony said and smiled. “A prototype as I said.”

“There is footage of his landing. He came out of a wormhole.”

“Well, I have been reaching out for the stars lately. You know, keep your enemy close.”

Din didn’t like the way Stark talked to this man. He didn’t need any more enemies on this planet, but Stark seemed to think he was the king or something.

“I’m accountable of the safety of Earth. Are you sure he is not a threat? S.H.I.E.L.D can take care of him.” Fury’s agents nodded.

“I can take care of myself,” Din said.

“You shot Mr. Stark. That is illegal here, but due your origin we have to use special treatment for you.”

He said “special treatment” like Din’s head was about to be cut off. Din knew that this wasn’t going to play out well, so he prepared for a fight. Usually, he didn’t anger that many people, but he was fine with the thought of slaughtering the whole city to find Grogu.


	3. Meanwhile in Midgard

Loki had started liking Midgard more. Well, currently anything but Asgard was great. His dad Odin was obviously angry after the New York episode, but the punishment was awful. Rotting in dungeon forever could have been alright, if it didn’t involve torture. And if Loki had been guilty.

He was currently sitting in his hideout, which was a small apartment in New York. It was stressing to sit right under the Avengers’ noses, but they probably still thought he was locked up in Asgard. The escape had been successful. No one had noticed his disappearance. He wasn’t god of mischief for nothing.   
But even his divinity had not been enough to protect him from Thanos or his father. He had to get stronger to stay safe. After he had broke out of mind control, Thanos tried to reach him, but he had managed to stay hidden. But every little crack from the stairway made him flinch. Opening the door made him fear for his life. There weren’t many friendly people out there. Besides shopping necessities, he never left the apartment. Hell, he was even too scared to order a pizza.

Loki closed the book he was reading. Only way to stop this nightmare was to seek safety from unknown realms. He had read about different universes and was about to try something new.

He lit up candles and drew circles with some chalk on the wooden floor. He laughed a bit, thinking how stupid he must look. He was doing something that Midgard teens did at their sleepovers. But he was getting desperate, and fairy tales always held a seed of truth. Living life in this tiny apartment was same as being in jail.  
After setting the ritual up, he stood up on the circle. He talked in old languages, closed his eyes, and spread his hands. He called for his magic. Green sparkles appeared in them, buzzing, ready for action. This wasn’t on his field, but the book said any magic could do. Green lights grew and reached the roof. They went straight through and reached to the skies. Loki’s blood was bustling, it almost felt like he was floating. He kept spelling the runes.

A long zhuum noise punctured the air. A small portal opened to the roof. Loki felt a presence of strange power, something he had never experienced before. For a second he thought it was his brother’s electricity, but that wasn’t the case. This… force was of the living, not good or bad, not bursting, not whizzing. It was all around and inside him. Loki tried to get higher to reach another universe, but he couldn’t move. The force didn’t obey him.

Suddenly windy noises were accompanied a baby-like voice. 

“D-dada?” It echoed from the walls.

“What? No-,” Loki’s words stuck into his throat as the portal started collapsing. Somebody was coming down, screaming. A force knocked Loki down. He dropped to the floor painfully.

The green sparkle portal closed, and something dropped on Loki’s stomach.   
It was a small child. Not a human. The skin was green, but facial features were like a new-born’s, except the ears were big and pointy. The large eyes were pitch-black. The child was wearing way too big brown robe. Loki had no idea what this thing was, but it was adorable.

Loki rose and grabbed the child gently. “Hi. I’m Loki. And you’re supposed to be my way out of here.” He still couldn’t believe he had created a wormhole without the Tesseract. Maybe some of its power had been stored within him.

The alien baby babbled with a disappointed tone. 

“I don’t understand you,” Loki said, which was weird since as a god he should understand every language. Then the feeling of energy came back. He saw, not literally, but somehow, the baby within the energy. The child mouth didn’t open, but Loki still heard him.

The child told his name was Grogu, and he was looking for his dad. He had heard Loki in the middle of the night, thinking it could be his dad.

“How did you hear me? Where are you from?” Loki asked.

Grogu jiggled his feet. He said that he didn’t know.

“There must be a reason for our meeting, Grogu. I begged the universe for protection, and it brought you here. What can you do with your little hands?”

Grogu bit Loki’s finger. Loki yelped and let him free. He waddled to kitchen and climbed to the kitchen table. He started eating from a bag of chips he found.   
Loki stood up groaning and walked to the table. Grogu looked at him with a serious face, brows squeezed. He had cheese flavour stuck on his lips.  
You help me find my dada, Loki heard in his mind. Grogu crunched more chips and babbled.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Grogu lifted his hand. It was suddenly harder to breath. Loki’s hands reached for his throat, but the choker was invisible. His heart started beating faster. He waved his hands and begged the child to stop. Grogu let go and Loki gasped for air. 

Wow, a child could have just killed him right there if he had choked a bit harder. Loki felt uneasy. Were his torturers’ words become the reality? Was he really that weak? His eyes teared up, but he didn’t know if it was result of the suffocation or his feelings. This had to stop. He was tired of everybody stepping on him.

Grogu won’t do that again without consequences, Loki thought. Grogu’s dad must have taught him awful manners. Even if Odin was the shittiest dad of the millennia, at least Loki knew how to act like a royalty. And soon, he would live like one.

“Okay,” Loki murmured, “I’ll help you find your dad.”

But Grogu would help him, too.


	4. Leave the helmet alone

“Identify yourself, please,” Fury said.

Din told again what he had told Tony. 

Fury frowned. “I’d like to see your face, just in case.” His hand tapped the bottom of Din’s helmet and tried to lift it up, but Din was ready.

He squeezed Fury’s wrist and opened the flame thrower he had in his right hand. Fury yanked himself free, bringing Din to the ground. The fire almost burnt Fury’s face, but he was quick enough to dodge. He took a few steps back. Agents were aiming at Din with guns. Din stayed still on the floor.

“Ah I forgot to mention. He really doesn’t like showing his face. It turns people into stone,” Stark quickly said and got between Din and guns. “I can vouch for him.”

Fury was furious. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. Stark was smiling and still standing in front of Din. Din didn’t move, just tried to look innocent.

Finally, Fury gestured the agents to lay their weapons. “He does not leave this building without supervision. I propose that one of the Avengers will always stay with him until he leaves.”

“No bathroom breaks?”

“No bathroom breaks. My first suggestion is disarming him, I don’t want to hear about someone being stabbed to eye with that spear.” Fury and his agents walked out as if nothing had happened. Tony and Din were now at the lobby alone.

Din got up. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“Seems like I’m your babysitter now.” Stark said. “Don’t worry, I think you will get along with my kids just fine.”

“You have kids?” Din thought about Grogu again. He was badly off-track with his mission.

“Well, if J.A.R.V.I.S counts. I created him in the end.” Stark leaded Din to an elevator. The doors closed. “And the Avengers are basically my babies.”

Din looked at grey walls and the numbers going up. “Who are the Avengers?”

“If you ask Fury, they are here to beat your ass. If you ask me, they are here to beat your ass only if you are a bad boy.”

Din stared at Stark.

“Okay jokes aside, we are a group that protects Earth. I’m the leader. Then we have a America fanboy, a green anger issue, a bow dad and a redhead beauty that will snap you neck. And last but not least,” Stark paused as the elevator arrived and walked out. “Our space man who I’m about to call.”

It seemed like a comfortable lounge. Windows covered one side from top to floor, showing a vast view to the city. On the right there was a luxurious bar and some seats. Stark guided him there and they sat down.

“While I call Thor do you want anything to drink?” Stark offered.

Din was a bit hungry, but that could wait. “No thanks.”

“That helmet isn’t it? I could make some changes so you could at least drink with it.”

“Not many know how to properly bend beskar.”

“Beskar?” Stark’s eyes lit up. ”Sounds cool, we’re gonna talk about that later. Hang on, I got Thor on the phone. Hi, Point Break, how's it going?"

"Have you seen Loki by any chance?" the god of thunder answered. The phone was on loudspeaker, so Din was able to hear. Thor’s voice was accompanied by wind, so he was probably flying. Tony was glad he had taught Thor to use a mobile phone for emergency situations, which Loki certainly was.

Tony looked at Din with eyes widened. "Thor, is your brother into metal?"

"No, I think he likes classic more."

"I meant like armours and stuff."

"You saw his helmet. He likes that even though it's such a show-off."

Tony turned to Din. "The helmet up, really quick."

"Yeah no," Din said. "Why?" Din thought he had made clear that it was not coming off his head.

"I have to make sure you're not someone with a glorious purpose. Thor, could you come over? We have something that might interest you."

"If it's Loki, beware. He broke out a few days ago and the guards noticed just now. They got suspicious after Loki had been reading on the same spot for two days."

Thor arrived quickly. He flew across the sky with a hammer. Din had never seen anything like that. Thor landed outside on a platform and walked the stairs to them. His red cape fluttered along his steps. He had a long, a bit wavy blond hair and brown beard. All in all, Din felt that this man wasn’t like the others. Thor had to be from another planet. Din’s hopes went up.

"Before you do anything, do not touch his helmet. Fury tried and almost got roasted alive," Tony warned Thor.

"So, you think this metal can is Loki in disguise?" Thor measured Din with his gaze. Din still didn't know who Loki was.

"He crashed from a wormhole, so possibly,” Tony explained.

"Nah, even Loki isn’t stupid enough to draw attention with an outfit like this while he’s at large. So, what's you name mate?"

"Does Mandalorian say anything to you?" Din asked.

Thor scratched his head. "I'm afraid not. I'm Thor Odinson by the way, god of thunder."

Din tilted his head. "A god?"

Thor smiled. "Wouldn't you like to show your pretty face to god?"

"Next time someone asks that, they are dead where they stand,” Din snapped and jumped up, standing close to Thor just to notice Thor was taller. "I'm searching for a child called Grogu. He might be in danger, so stop wasting my time."

"Wow, easy there metalhead. Thor, he needs a spaceship to get the hell out of here.” Stark poured a drink at the bar desk.

"Can't you and Banner just build one?"

"Probably but it’s too time-consuming."

"Well, Asgardians use Bifrost, not ships. Heimdall sees and knows everything, so maybe he could give you a ride to your kid.”

"Why hasn't he found Loki then?" Tony interrupted. He was nervous. "I don't want Loki to spend any minutes on Earth."

"Loki's speciality is illusions. He can keep up an invisibility shield which blocks Heimdall's view,” Thor said fast. “Anyways, where are you from Mando?"

"Nowhere. I don't know even where I am going, but getting back to these coordinates would help," Din said and showed the coordinates Luke gave him.

Thor's forehead squinted. "These aren't from any of the Nine Realms."

"And that means?"

"I cannot help you. I'm sorry. There are also more urgent things than your child. My brother is at large.” Thor paced around. “I have no idea what he is planning.”

Din calmed himself down and sat on a chair to think. These blockheads were hesitant to help him. On his trips across planets, he had learnt a few things: no one ever gave anything for free. “Okay. I’m a bounty hunter, and it seems like you have a target you’d like to catch. If you give me a spaceship, I will do my best to catch this Loki.”

Thor continued walking around and started nodding his head. “I have to admit you do look professional enough. Tony, how about you? In the end you’re the payer.”

Tony sipped his drink. “I’ve met this man like half an hour ago. How do you know this isn’t Loki’s plan to get a ship to bring his space crawlies back?”

“Trust is hard to build. But we all have a lot to lose. This armour was built with the rewards I have got from my jobs. I take my clients seriously,” Din convinced.

Tony sighed. “Fine. But you know, if you cause any trouble, Fury won’t let it slip.”

Thor put his hand on Din’s shoulder as a sign of partnership. Din resisted the urge to swipe it off. “Your job is to search Midgard. Look for anything weird,” Thor said.

Din sighed. “Everything is weird here.” 

Tony asked J.A.R.V.I.S to show a picture of Loki. A hologram showed Loki with a devilish smile on his face. Not the scariest thing he had had to catch, Din thought. Really, this one looked like a whelp with ego issues.

Din glanced at Thor and squinted his eyes. “I can see family resemblance.”

“He’s adopted. In case you meet him, you need to be careful. A god of mischief isn’t an easy catch.”

Din was already leaving, but Tony stopped him. “No, not without a babysitter. Somebody will come with you.”

Great, Din thought. First, he was a criminal, now a baby. Grogu would probably be laughing at him now. “Alright. But please someone with more than one braincell.”

Thor and Tony glanced at each other. “I know a perfect one.”


	5. An unfortunate shopping trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick thank you! The support I have got for this fic has exceeded all my expectations. You better know I inject all the comments and kudos directly my veins to fuel my brain when writing. Next chapter will come tomorrow or Monday, I need a bit time to plan out bigger plotpoints! This updating pace has been tight, but it doesn't feel too bad as I'm truly enjoying writing this! Thank you all so much!!! <3

Grogu had eaten everything Loki had in his cabinets. He put a black leather jacket and sunglasses on, although his whole appearance would be covered with an illusion. Shopping hadn’t been on his to-do list, but he had to leave his apartment to get more food. That little green bastard seemed to have an endless stomach. When he was leaving, Grogu toddled to him and whined.

“You can survive on your own for a while,” Loki said and tried to find his wallet. All the money he had was stolen. Being a pickpocket wasn’t pleasant but using illusion money would have alarmed the Avengers. He just tried to keep a low profile.

Where was the wallet? He was sure he had put it in his backpack.

Grogu whined louder. Loki had figured out that Grogu was powerful, but he was still a child with limits. He hadn’t managed to talk to Grogu with telepathy since the first time. The child was probably exhausted of using his powers.

“What now?” Loki looked at Grogu just to see his wallet flying over the kid’s head.

Loki tried grab it, but Grogu pulled it further. Loki sighed. “I’m not going to play with you. Come here.” He put Grogu in his backpack and lifted the zip, leaving only a small hole to the top. “Keep your head down.”

He locked apartment’s door and walked downstairs. His neighbours were frankly weird, but the hallway was fortunately empty this time. The rent was cheap, and it showed. Everybody was spying on each other. Once Loki had found a small camera on a letter he had received from his landlord.

Loki had covered his real identity with a fake personality. A shy, unemployed literature teacher was easy to play. He had stolen a random passer-by’s appearance, so he looked like a middle-aged golf club guy, not very flattering.

Sun was warm even though fall had begun. Orange leaves were still attached to trees, not wanting to let go. The city was undamaged in this district. Loki was quite impressed how much damage his army had done (probably the Avengers had broken more stuff, though). He missed the feeling of being powerful.

He entered a shop he hadn’t visited before. It was a regular, small counter store on the first floor of an apartment building. There was only a few customers, a mom and her child. He hoped Grogu wouldn’t want to play with the other kid.

A cashier lady was listening to a radio. Loki picked some instant noodles and vegetables and listened absent-mindedly. Was chicken flavour better than chili? He got both. Maybe spiciness would scare Grogu from eating everything.

_“An armoured man crashed on Central Park. Tony Stark claimed that the robot in question was a failed experiment and apologized for any damage,”_ the radio buzzed.

Loki lifted his head. Could it be something related to him? At least he hadn’t heard his name yet, so Earth didn’t know about his escape. Hopefully.

_“We got an eyewitness. Mister, what did you see?”_

A man coughed. _“It looked like a silver knight. It asked me where he was. I first thought it was a nerd gone wild, but then I heard that he had shot someone at a nearby restaurant. I bet this was a new trick by… I can’t recall his name…”_

_“Do you mean Loki? The one who almost destroyed our precious city?”_

Loki had heard enough. Trying to ignore the sudden cold sweat, he walked to the cashier. He tried to calm himself down as he knew he looked nothing like himself. The cashier lady with a face like a frog, didn’t seem to notice anything odd.

When he started to pack groceries, he remembered Grogu. He opened the backpack just to find it empty. He glanced around to see where the kid had gone. Finally, he spotted him between shelves with cookies on them. Grogu was tearing a package open with his little claws.

“No, stop. That’s not yours,” Loki said and grabbed Grogu back to his bag. He put the package back to the shelf and hoped no one had noticed. When turned around to leave, there was a little boy looking at him.

“Mama, that man just ate cookies without paying! Can I have them too?” he yelled.

Loki grinded his teeth and ran to the doors.

The cashier got up. “Hey sir! You need to stop!”

He was already outside, but he bumped into someone. His mouth let out a surprised yelp. It was his clone! His damn clone whose looks he had copied. The man looked at him like he was about to have a stroke. Loki heard the cashier run closer, but she was also confused about the two identical men, not knowing which one to catch. She just huffed and stood next to them.

Think Loki, think! He could create multiple clones running to different directions to cause distraction, but that was the same as putting up a big “LOKI IS HERE, COME GET HIM BOYS” sign. So, he had to use his silver tongue.

“Oh, hello brother,” Loki said and slapped “his brother’s” shoulder. Loki shook off a sudden melancholic feeling. “Didn’t except to meet you here.”

“W-what? Who-,” the fake brother tried to stammer.

“You’re still angry about that little prank from yesterday? Come on, let me see what you got from the store.” Loki laughed.

While the other two hadn’t been looking, he had transferred a fake copy of that tragic cookie package to the man’s bag. He opened the bag.

The cashier peeped inside and took the solid illusion to her hands. “You better come back inside. I have already called the guards, you petty criminal!”

His clone stared at the cashier with mouth open in confusion. Guard car arrived. Loki infiltrated to the crowd. He heard his clone screaming. A faint smile rose to his lips. Perhaps he was unable to defend himself from greater powers, but mortals could do nothing.

After walking a couple blocks, he stopped to an empty alley. He dropped his backpack, and Grogu’s head peeked out.

“Listen. That was a close call. You can’t act by yourself around here. The second they see you, we’re in trouble,” Loki ranted and turned back to his own form. “You asked for help. How about you help me first?”

Grogu stared at him with his dark brown eyes. Loki felt the tingling feel again, it was the strange energy. Grogu connected to Loki’s mind and closed his eyes.

This time Grogu said nothing. Instead, Loki was able to see what Grogu was thinking. He saw a hazy New York. Between the skyscrapers there was three tall green cylinders. One pointed to Loki’s apartment. These had to be portals made by him, but he had thought he had only created one. One of them was significantly larger and it led to Central Park.

_What came out of that?_ Loki asked. He was scared. If a little one had brought a powerful creature like Grogu here, what kind of monster could come out of the big one?

Grogu didn’t answer. The image zoomed into a smaller portal. Loki hissed when he saw that it led to the Avengers Tower. A building which didn’t bring back good memories.

The view zoomed further inside, to the top floor with big windows. This was the place where Loki had fought Tony Stark and… the memory gave him chills, Hulk. He wanted to never see that green beast again.

Loki felt a slap on his cheek, although it was just a mental slap. Grogu looked at him angrily, as he tried to say: Stop dissociating, bitch! Loki focused his attention to the picture again.

Under a familiar bar counter there was a sack. Grogu appeared next to it and waved his hands. Two metallic tubes flew out of it.

_Wow, that’s what I brought from another universe? A couple of vape pens? Those will make the Avengers shiver!_

Grogu’s dim mental image looked like he was done with Loki. He clicked the tubes open. Two green lasers came out. Loki took a closer look. They were apparently some sort of weapons. The lasers looked hot and deadly. It was a shame they didn’t come in dagger size.

Grogu sneezed and the whole image disappeared. Loki shook his head to get back to reality and checked if anyone had noticed this session, but there was no sign of that. He stuffed Grogu back to the backpack and gave him a strawberry lollipop.

The child started licking it happily. Loki wasn’t as happy. Of course he had accidentally created another portal to enemy quarters. His mind must’ve flashed there for a second during the ritual. He had to plan how to slip inside to get those swords. He took the backpack and walked to his hideout, working on his plan.


	6. The detective pair

“So, you’re saying I must babysit a man that came from the space, shot you and tried to kill Nick freaking Fury?” a woman called Natasha said. She had a red bob cut and was dressed fully in black. Din twiddled his thumbs and looked at the table. He had eaten a bit in the bathroom alone. Thor had left to his home realm Asgard but said he would come back soon.

“And that’s not even all,” Tony said and munched a sandwich. “You two must look for Loki.”

Natasha’s jaw dropped. “Lo- what? You gotta be kidding me.”

Tony gulped food down and wiped his mouth. “Yeah, he has escaped and might be currently on Earth.”

“Okay, let me get this straight. There’s no way I’m going on a mission like that with a rando dressed in the most conspicuous armour to exist. Even if Loki is here, which I don’t believe, he will flee the second he sees us.”

“Please note I’m in this room too. Natasha, I know this sounds bad. But we have to start somewhere.” Din looked at Natasha.

She crossed her arms. “I have not agreed to anything. I was enjoying a well-deserved day-off, but then Tony called me. Suddenly Loki is free and alien man has landed and messed everything up. You should clean your own mess.”

Din clenched his fits. “It was not my will to come here. In addition, I can’t say I have enjoyed my stay either.” Natasha truly reminded him of Cara Dune, but a bit more annoying.

“You two are having a lovely little brawl there, but I have to interrupt. J.A.R.V.I.S, please show the news.” Tony swiped air and a video appeared in it.

 _“Do we live in the Matrix after all? This real-life glitch has puzzled the spotters today. Stacy, how is it on at the scene?”_ The news anchor started.

The camera moved to a young woman on the street. _“I have a confused man here who claims he was framed for shoplifting by his own clone. Tell me more, Jake.”_ She pointed a microphone to a middle-aged man with a bright red nose.

_“Thanks, thanks. It was crazy; I was just minding my own business and then I bumped into myself! He acted like he was my twin. I don’t even have a brother!”_

_“Even weirder, the cashier of local shop told that he found a stolen cookie packet in Jake’s bag, although Jake had not visited the shop. Later the whole package had disappeared. Police will look more into this mystery. Learn more on-“_

“This is the local trash TV channel for gossips and stuff,” Natasha pointed out. Tony hushed her.

The video showed a security camera footage. There was the fake Jake and he seemed to pick something up to his backpack. The resolution was about three pixels, so it looked like a potato sack. Then the man started running away. The video ended.

“Don’t we all know one person who likes to imitate others?” Tony said.

Natasha’s forehead wrinkled. “You’re saying it was Loki? He has really hit the bottom. From conquering Earth to stealing cookies.”

“I wonder what he picked up,” Din said. It had looked like a living moving thing, maybe a child. “This is our only clue now. We better get going.”

“Before you go, have this.” Tony handed Din a small button-like thing. “With this earbud I can inform you if there’s any news. I’ll consult Banner and start working on the spaceship.”

Din nodded. He and Natasha went to the elevator. It started going down and Din just stood there in silence. Natasha looked still irritated.

“If you try anything, I won’t be as nice as Tony or Fury,” Natasha notified.

Din stretched his arms, carefully to not even touch Natasha. “Trust issues seem to be a default here. If I wanted to harm any of you, I could have done it already.”

Natasha snorted and smiled a little. “I know. But times like these, we have to be careful.” The elevator arrived and they went outside.

The blue sky was fading into an orange sunset. The lights of buildings started to blink open. New York was a modern-looking city despite the real level of technology. There weren’t any less people on the streets though. However, if any tried to approach Din, Natasha scared them away with a stormy gaze.

On the side of the road, Din saw a big building with even bigger dent on its side. Yellow coated men were fixing it.

Natasha noticed him looking. “In case we run into our target, which I heavily doubt, you better know what we have to face. That damage was caused by him.”

“He didn’t look very dangerous.” Din compared the size of the dent to the krayt dragon he had taken down on Tatooine. After that, he hadn’t been easily scared. With help of the Avengers like Natasha, he doubted anything could stand on their way.

“Loki had an alien army including giant flying Leviathans. Those things could swallow the Avengers tower with one bite. New York almost got destroyed, but we were able to stop them. If we hadn’t, our precious government would have nuked the whole city.”

“Well, governments seem to be the same regardless the planet.” Din had never been a fan of big systems – they always left room for corruption and discrimination. Earth’s only con was the lack of the Empire and the New Republic (although those guys weren’t inherently bad, Din just had angered them a few times).

Those Leviathans sounded like cousins of krayt dragons. Why was it that whenever Din went somewhere, there was a giant monster ready to take him out? He touched the mudhorn symbol on his right bicep armour plate. This time Grogu wouldn’t be there to save him.

“Not to mention Loki himself. He can create illusions and is also incredibly good at persuading. Thank god his staff is still safely locked up somewhere, so at least we don’t have to fear getting mind controlled.” Natasha’s lips trembled for a faint second.

That sounded like magic, which Din wasn’t very fond of. All that Jedi stuff had been enough. He preferred traditional ways. “Without his army I bet Loki is still fairly weak. We should be able to take care of him. Does Tony want him alive?”

Natasha laughed. “Nobody but Thor cares about Loki. If the situation gets out of hand, you can go all out. Asgardians are also bulletproof, but maybe your lasers can set his cape on fire and hurt his ego.”

They had arrived the shop they saw in the news. The same cashier was sitting on the counter with a tired face. Her bun had loosened, and she looked ready to fall asleep.

“Hello, were you on the news today?” Natasha asked with a sunny smile. The tough face was completely gone.

“You want an autograph?” the lady straightened her back. When her eyes detected Din, she looked at him as he was about to light the shop on fire.

“Actually, me and my partner here work for a local newspaper. We make news of anything weird. I’d like to ask if you saw what direction the shoplifter ran to.”

Natasha continued to ask questions. Din decided to look around. He walked to the aisle where the cookies were. On the floor there was something. First it looked like a random trash, but when he squatted down, he noticed it was a piece of fabric. A brown suede fabric. It looked familiar.

No way. Was the video’s three-pixel brown dump Grogu? He remembered clearly what Grogu’s recognizable robe felt like, and this piece matched it. If he was right, that meant possible-Loki-man had the kid. Din didn’t know how the hell Grogu had ended up on Earth, but it was certain Din wasn’t going to leave without checking. He tried to prove his suspicions right with his trail spotting cam, but steps were already smudged.

“Hey baby! Don’t go too far from mommy,” Natasha yelled and gestured him to come closer. Din chortled and obeyed.

“We got a new lead. The man we are after was seeing down the street mumbling to himself some time ago. We should check that place next.”

Din nodded. He didn’t want to tell Natasha about the child yet. Even if Natasha seemed like a reliable partner, her alliance was with the Avengers. Din was ready to break the deal if he had to. They left the shop, and Din’s mind was busy thinking about Loki. What would a man like that do with Grogu? Only one thing was sure: Din would not hold back when he would meet Loki.


	7. Revenge match

Darkness had fallen over New York. The city lights hid all the stars on the sky, so it was as if a black blanket had covered every place, which was perfect for Loki. He approached the Avengers tower, seeing the huge white letter A glowing.

Last time he had the high ground, but this time he had to get in secretly. He didn’t have an army to back him up or any accomplices. He really missed the Scepter.

Instead he had a little alien baby that was currently taking a nap inside his backpack. Loki truly wished he would not cause any trouble. His plan was to simply get inside, take the swords and leave.

The doors weren’t locked yet, which was odd. Perhaps Tony Stark was expecting visitors? Hopefully not Loki, though. He would have rather waited for a perfect moment to strike, but he really had no time. By now his escape had been spotted, because he had felt his illusion on Asgard vanish. The Avengers could be at his door any moment, so he went to their door first.

The lobby was empty. He was about to get the stairs (elevator would have been too noisy), but a sudden voice stopped him.

“Have you booked an appointment to Mr. Stark?” a computer voice asked. Loki guessed it was Stark’s little assistant J.A.R.V.I.S.

“Can’t an old friend come for a visit just for fun? This is the headquarters of the Avengers, and last I checked I was one of them.” Loki kept his voice calm.

“Yes Mr. Barton, but Stark is not home. Should I call him?”

“No, please don’t. I’m going to arrange a surprise party for him. The others will arrive later, but I have to fill the balloons.” Loki took out a balloon packet which read: “Happy Birthday, dickhead!” and other shitty lines.

J.A.R.V.I.S paused for a second, but then the elevator doors opened. “Stark has been stressed lately. A surprise party would be apt to improve his mental well-being. Work fast, he may return any moment.”

“Thank you.” Loki smiled and took the elevator up. Last time he had been there, he was muzzled, cuffed, and hurt. Oh, what would Thor be thinking if he saw Loki now? Ideally, Loki would never see his brother again. Loki would start a small kingdom somewhere far away with no worries about Thanos or anyone else. One of the barriers between him and his dream was Grogu. Grogu had showed Loki earlier a mental picture of his dad. As much as he knew, Grogu’s dad was not from Earth or any known world. How could Loki ever explain that to Grogu? Even though that little beast had caused him nothing but trouble, he had attached to it.

Loki decided that he would try to find a way to get Grogu home. There had to be somebody looking for him. Possibly his beloved dad.

The elevator arrived. Everything was going just according to the plan. Even easier than he had thought, because of Stark’s absence. Or everybody’s absence. Where was everyone? Had the Avengers really become exhausted from fighting him so everybody was on holidays?

He walked to the bar counter. Maybe, there just hadn’t been an Avengers-lever threat since him.

The old lust for power came back. He took the swords out of the bag and put them on holders hanging on his belt. What if he didn’t need Thanos’ army? People were like sheep. A few right words and everybody would kneel for him in no time. And protect him at all costs. Hmh, that idea wasn’t bad.

He blew a few balloons. Stark would eventually know about his visit, so why not to have some fun?

Of course he had no change to have fun.

“Mr. Barton, there’s another you at the doors,” J.A.R.V.I.S said.

Loki closed his eyes and rubbed them. The god of probability truly hated him today. Seven billion people, and yet he always ran to his clones. “It’s an impostor. Maybe Loki. Activate the security systems.”

“Security systems can only be activated by Mr. Stark and other assignees.”

“He doesn’t trust me? Then it’s your fault when Tony comes back to a smoking wreck.”

The real Hawkeye was inside the lobby. The cameras showed that he was talking to J.A.R.V.I.S, confused. He had his full battle suit and his bow. Loki bit his lips, waiting for the outcome.

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert.” J.A.R.V.IS activated the security systems. Loki was prepared for a fight, but instead he saw an empty suit fly to Hawkeye. It started blasting him with lasers. Hawkeye rolled to dodge and fired an arrow to the armour.

Loki thought through his options. He didn’t want to walk straight to the middle of a battle, nor he could stay up here. Changing the disguise would immediately alert J.A.R.V.I.S. So, he did what the heroes did.

“Excuse me. I need to get my gear from the basement,” he said and started going down with the elevator. A hero was nothing without his weapons. At least Thor would mourn if he lost his hammer. Pfft, why he was thinking about Thor so much?

He left the elevator on the first floor. Hawkeye was still busy fighting–

except he wasn’t. The empty armour laid on the ground in parts. Hawkeye stood over it. He hadn’t even broken a sweat. His eyes slid to Loki.

“Good you left that spear home. We don’t want a rematch of that, do we?” Clint Barton aimed his bow at Loki.

Loki smiled. “Wasn’t it nice on my side? You can still join me if you’d like.”

“In your dreams.” Clint didn’t lower his weapon. “As soon as I heard your little trip to freedom, I was ready. Honestly, didn’t expect you to walk straight to us.”

Loki walked closer with relaxed steps. “Did the mind control give you dementia? I don’t need to hide.”

“Well, if going back to prison is your goal, I can offer a helping hand.” Clint released the arrow.

Loki bended down and the arrow stuck to the wall. He drew the lightsaber and opened it. The green light hummed. Loki had trained with swords when he was still a teen, so using it was no problem. However, the feeling was different. This wasn’t heavy and hard to swing. In fact, it was very agile. He jumped and tried to hit Barton.

Barton drew another arrow and managed to shoot it to Loki’s arm. Loki groaned as his illusion washed away. He jumped farther from Barton.

“Surrender. These weapons will slice your meat like it was butter.” Loki swinged his sword. Barton snorted, amused. Loki leaped and sliced Clint’s chest, finishing him with a kick.

Clint dropped on the floor. Loki stepped on the wound, making his victim scream. Barton did his best to struggle out, but Loki held the tip of the lightsaber on his throat.

“This is how things are supposed to be.” Loki smirked. He summoned ropes and duct tape (at this mind state he really couldn’t think about anything better) and tied Barton up.

“The Avengers will be there any minute,” Barton managed to say before Loki slammed a piece of duct tape on his mouth.

Loki started dragging him to a cleaning closet. “They won’t find a sign of any threats.” He dumped Barton in the middle of brooms and detergent bottles. “Or you didn’t find.” Loki switched back to Barton’s looks and took his quiver, too. And his money.

He closed the door, leaving muttering Barton into the darkness. The plan hadn’t gone as supposed, but Loki had got new ideas. Much more destructive ideas.


	8. Party time

Finally, the elevator doors opened. Loki had been waiting for an eternity. If he had wanted to, he could have taken over the whole building without resistance. But he had something funnier in his mind.

A man stepped out. City light shimmered through windows and bounced off the stranger’s silver armour.

“I’m not here to play. If you’re attached to your life, I suggest you show yourself.” The voice was masculine and had a robotic tone, but Loki was able to tell from the movements that it wasn’t Tony’s self-patrolling suit.

Loki lit up the lights. “Happy birthday! Wait. You’re not Tony. Or have you changed style? I have to admit, the red never suited you.”

Oh no, it was not indeed Tony. Loki had to use all his willpower to keep his fake Barton mouth straight. He couldn’t believe this. It was Grogu’s dad. Din Djarin or something. How the hell was he here? World was truly small. He was glad he had decided to leave Grogu to cleaner’s cupboard with Barton so they could look after each other. Otherwise Grogu would have recognized his father’s voice immediately.

“Who are you?” Din asked and aimed at Loki with his gun.

“I would like to ask the same.”

“You’re on my employer’s territory without permission.”

The door leading to the stairway opened.

“There was no sign of the intruder– wait, Clint? What are you doing here?” Natasha tilted her head and put her hands on her waist.

Loki smiled. “I wanted to throw a party.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes and then realized that Din was holding a gun. “Hey baby put that down. He’s a friend.”

Din proceeded to obey, but Loki saw his movements were hesitant. Natasha walked closer and investigated the setting Loki had created. Loki had found a fancy glass dining table, filled red and blue balloons, and ordered food. Steaming hot cardboard boxes of pizza were waiting on the table.

“You brought pizza? And balloons?” Natasha shook her head lightly. “Tony called and said there was an intruder. Was it you?”

“J.A.R.V.I.S would have ruined the surprise for Tony, so I had to shut him down. Come on, don’t we all deserve a party?”

“What are we celebrating, the possible nearing doomsday? Tony told you about the situation, right? I’d love to spend time with you and others, but not now.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I was just thinking that we should probably plan things together, so why not to have some fun at the same time?” Loki took a slice and started eating it. “We seem to have a visitor, from outer space, I believe? Let’s make him feel welcomed.”

“I’m not really a party animal. Especially not on a mission.” Din took a few steps closer. Loki had to focus on keeping his cool. Everything about Din was alarming, he was like a tiger approaching its prey.

“This isn’t your normal style, Clint. Are you sure Loki hasn’t slipped into your mind?” Natasha put her hand on Loki’s forehead.

Loki grabbed her wrist. “That bastard won’t do that again. But do you know what else is bad for your brain besides having a god inside it? Not having fun.”

Natasha’s smile warmed a little when she sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Whose birthday is it?”

Loki pouted his lips and shrugged. “Those balloons were for sale.”

A loud clang banged outside. Thor had landed there and walked inside. Loki swore in his mind. He had not invited his brother. He had to trust that Thor was as brainless as usual and wouldn’t notice anything.

“I’m back from Asgard. Guards haven’t still found any traces of Loki. How about you – oh, I didn’t know we were having a party.” Thor glanced at the table and Loki just kept smiling.

“Little light to these dark times. Come on, take a seat. Does anybody know when our birthday boy Tony is arriving?” Loki took another slice. Cheese was truly one of the pleasures of Midgard.

“How old is he gonna turn?” Thor counted his fingers.

“I don’t know, but man’s living like it was his birthday every day, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Din had crossed his arms, still looking at Loki from a distance. “You didn’t introduce yourself.”

“Don’t be scared of him, baby. Clint Barton may look scary, but he has got a golden heart. He’s our hefty marksman. You could compare your weapons or something.” Natasha pinched Loki’s – or Barton’s – bare bicep.

Din’s emotions were hard to track due his helmet, but Loki knew he wasn’t convinced. He still walked to the table and took a seat next to Natasha. Loki was sitting on the left table end.

Thor was seeking for beer and found it. “I will never turn down an invitation to a party. We have to discuss our plan before we get too wasted, though.”

Natasha nodded and called Tony. “No, building’s not on fire. No, don’t turn back. There’s something you should see.”

Soon a helicopter landed. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner dropped off and entered the building. Loki was getting bit nervous, but just poured a drink to look like a convincing celebrator.

“Happy birthday!” they all shouted (expect Din, who was sulking) to Tony.

Tony scowled his brows. “What’s all this for?” He took a balloon to his hand. “Happy birthday, dickhead? Wow, that’s so sweet. Who messed the month and day, though?”

“It was Clint’s idea. We will discuss our plan at the same time,” Natasha said. She had made herself a cute lemonade drink.

Bruce was even more confused than Tony. “I was told there was an attack on the building… did I try to get angry for no reason?”

Tony sighed and shook his head. “It was awful. He watched videos of people kicking puppies and almost turned green in the air. I sang him a lullaby and he had the nerve to laugh,” Tony said. He was swiping something on his pad but sat down on the right end of the table, opposite Loki.

Bruce spotted Din. “I think we haven’t met yet?” He offered his hand.

Din just nodded. “You don’t look as green as I expected.”

“Haha. This is what happens when you let Tony do the introductions. I’m Bruce Banner. I believe you’re the Mandrill we’re building a spaceship for.”

“Just calling me Mando is fine. Have you made progress?”

Bruce’s eyes lit. “We’re still planning it. The project is very interesting to work on. You want to see some of my calculations?”

“Uhm… technics have never been my thing, so no thanks. I bet they are impressive.”

Tony slammed his hand to the table. Loki couldn’t control his flinch. Din looked at him but said nothing. Oh dear, did Din suspect him already?

“Let’s start with the business first.” Tony clicked his pad and a hologram Loki appeared in the middle of the table. “This worm is 69% surely on Earth. How did he get there? Does he have somebody to help him?”

If he had, he would be the hell out of here already. However, a book his mother had gifted him had taught him some interesting tricks on moving through the borders of worlds. That had drained his energy for days, though, and anything bigger would require the Tesseract.

“I doubt that Loki has any helpers,” Thor said. He was on his tenth tankard of beer. Yeah, get drunk brother, so you won’t feel as much pain, Loki thought.

“We had a suspect that could have been Loki in disguise, but Din and I couldn’t track him down.” Natasha looked at Loki who was spacing out, thinking about stabbing his brother. “S.H.I.E.LD agents around the globe hadn’t detected anything, right?”

Loki startled. “Oh yeah, yeah. Nothing new there.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Am I the only one who thinks this whole thing is kind of… weird? Why would Loki come back on Earth? I believe his army’s species isn’t extinct, so why didn’t he go there and plan a new attack or something? Even he isn’t so stupid to try defeat us alone.”

Crawling back to Thanos? No, compared to Thanos Odin was sweet as a little girl. Loki started to feel annoyed. “Maybe he has a few new tricks up his sleeve.”

“I don’t know about Loki’s plans or motifs, but he is too dangerous to roam freely. I don’t want Midgard to be harmed by Asgardians ever again,” Thor stated.

Din wasn’t eating, he kept staring at Loki. “If I had even a small trace of him, I would track him down.”

Tony clapped his hands. “Thank you for finally saying something, you were the thing I was forgetting. Our precious sardine can right here is basically under arrest. He needs 24/7 supervision from us or Fury will kill us all. However, he seems to be the most experienced on hunting.” Tony got up and went to search something from drawer. “Here! Extra long straw for you.” He threw a rainbow themed straw to Din who caught it.

“Thanks, I guess.” Din dipped it on a drink and sipped the juice without having to lift his helmet.

“Mando also has a lost child and needs to get rid of us as soon as possible, so that gives us a bit time pressure,” Tony noted.

The child? Shit! Loki had forgotten about Grogu. “I’ll go to the bathroom,” he said and slipped away. Hopefully Grogu was still asleep.

After getting down with the elevator to the lobby, he opened the door of the cleaner’s closet. Clint blinked his lights because of sudden light. He was still neatly packed up. However, Grogu had crawled out and was playing with dusters.

Clint tried to mumble something. Loki slapped his cheek. “You’re a good childminder but awfully hard to play. Wish I had my Scepter so I could put you in there. That party is boring!”

Grogu grabbed Loki’s foot. Loki tried to shake him off. “Let go! This nice uncle will take care of you for a while. I’ll be back.”

Loki turned around. He was looking directly at a blaster.

“Hand the child over.” Din’s voice left no room for speculations for what would happen if he didn’t.

But surrendering wasn’t Loki’s style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't ask where Cap is. I don't know. Probably sleeping like a responsible adult.


	9. Wrong kind of fireworks

Din’s hands were steady, and his mind focused on Loki. Loki let his Barton disguise vanish, returning to another form. A golden helmet paired with large antlers appeared to crown his face, and a green cape almost touched the ground. He held Grogu against his chest and shut the kid’s mouth with his hand.

“Well, the lost dad got found,” Loki said, smiling.

“Did I stutter? Hand the kid over so no one gets hurt.”

“Hurt? I’m not afraid of getting hurt,” Loki hissed. Din noticed a stain of blood on Loki’s left arm. “Your kid and I have a deal. However, he is yet to complete his part. He’s not coming with you.”

“Grogu is a child and I’m his guardian.” Well, at least he wished he were. “He can’t make decisions on his own.”

“Is that so? I have seen him do things that many could only imagine. An ordinary man like you is not qualified to nurse him.” Green sparkles appeared on Loki’s hands.

“And yet an ordinary man figured out your trickery and is holding you on gunpoint.” Din’s helmet’s temperature sensor had showed fake Barton as blue – which was pretty alarming for a human or a god. Well, adopted gods seemed to be exception to the rule. “Last warning. Give him to me and yield, so I’ll tell the Avengers you were cooperative. They might spare you.”

“Your deduction was impressive, I have to admit. But guns don’t scare me,” Loki said.

Clint, who was still tied up, tried to kick Loki’s ankle. Loki stepped on his leg and made him groan. “Neither do kicks scare me. The Avengers pretend to be heroes, so I doubt they will kill me. Why are you siding with them? I was the one who brought you two here, and I’m the only one who can send you back. Stark’s miserable spaceship won’t make it outside the Milky Way.”

Grogu looked at Din with squinted eyes. He seemed to be more apathetic than usual.

Din’s anger grew. “I can live rest of my days in here. Whatever you have done to Grogu, you’ll pay for it.”

“Kid has been eating good, I assure you. But are you so sure? Midgardians will never accept you. Trust me, I know what it is like to be an outcast. To be shadowed by others, to be treated like garbage! Look at your child, his little gummy looking green face. Other children will eat him alive.” Loki petted Grogu’s head.

Din thought about his home universe. Sure, things weren’t the best there, but it was his home. The lack of alien species on Earth had bothered him. He knew Grogu could never find peace here. “Once you’re captured, we can force you to do your magic to get us home.”

Loki shook his head and laughed. “Torture it is then? It won’t work. You seem like a man with brains but also with a heart. I can snap Grogu’s neck now if I have to.”

Din was sweating. Why hadn’t anyone of the Avengers suspected anything? Din and Loki had been away for a long time already. He was short of options.

“Grogu,” he said emphatically.

Grogu opened his eyes and tried to utter something, but Loki’s hand blocked it.

“Do the magic hand,” Din said.

Grogu blinked his eyes.

“The magic hand, remember? You raise your hand like this,” Din advised and showed it with his hands, “and then do the force thingy.”

Loki looked at Din sceptically. “I don’t think he wants to do that.”

“Shut up. Grogu, you can do it. Give the ugly man what he deserves.”

Grogu slowly lifted his hand, but it was not Loki who was being choked. Barton behind him started rising and gasping for air. Loki turned around to witness the situation wholeheartedly.

Din sighed and drew his spear, poking it to Loki’s back. The metal and padding stopped it, and Loki grabbed his sword, turning around. He clicked it open, and a green laser came out.

“Wait. Are you a Jedi?” The green laser looked exactly like Skywalker’s weapons, which seemed to be part of the Jedi stuff Din had no idea about.

“I don’t know, are you?” Loki hit his sword at Din’s spear. Sparkles glinted.

Din backed off to the lobby, keeping his spear between him and Loki. “Where did you get those lightsabers?”

“These were all I wanted in the first place, you and kid were just side effects. Tell me more about the Jedi.”

“They fight like hell. Taking Grogu will make you a target.” Din thought about releasing the whistling birds, but they would hit Grogu for sure.

“Aren’t I your target already? You look like a commendable hunter, but here I walk freely. Pathetic threats won’t make me afraid.” Loki swinged his sword. The green light looked menacing in the dark lobby.

Din took his blaster and shot, but Loki managed to defend himself with the lightsaber. The laser bounced to the roof, breaking a tile. “The Jedi control unbelievable powers. Grogu could kill you if he wanted you. Hey Grogu, that’s what you want, right?” Din directed his words to Grogu. Grogu had fallen asleep. There was something wrong about him, and that made Din’s heart race.

“I have felt those powers.” Loki smiled. “They were glorious.”

Bing. Din heard the elevator arrive. It was stuffed with the Avengers; Natasha pointed a pistol at Loki, Tony was dressed in his suit, Thor swung his hammer and Banner just standing there behind them.

“What a pity our discussion had to end so soon. In case it wasn’t clear, my offer is simple: you help me and I help you. Tell me when you have decided, but now I have to go.” He shut down the lightsaber and put it back on his belt. He took a quiver – the same he had had when he was looking like Barton – and threw an arrow to the cleaner’s cupboard and another to the ground below him.

The first arrow had a beeping countdown, but the second exploded immediately. Loki was unharmed, but the floor collapsed, revealing a hallway. He jumped down. Din was about to go after him, but then the other arrow exploded.

All he was able to see was Tony pulling Clint out of the cleaning closet just in time. The bang was so loud that Din thought he would go deaf, but the helmet protected him. A huge blaze ignited and started to eat everything it touched.

Natasha ran to Din. “Outside, quickly!” They hurried outside with the others.

The fire took over the whole first floor quickly, climbing to the walls. Some metal pillars started to bend.

Tony made a call. “Yeah, that boom was me. Where’s the fire apartment? There’s another fire somewhere? Did you say grill party? My building worth of millions is burning down and you worry about a grill?” Tony argued on the phone and hang up. “They will come soon. Is everybody fine?”

They glanced at each other, nodding.

“We’re sorry we didn’t realize you had been missing so long. We were so into our plan,” Thor apologized. Din suspected it had to do something with alcoholic drinks, too.

Natasha cut off Clint’s ties. “You managed to hold Loki pretty well on your own, Mando. He had probably set the trap earlier and just waited for the perfect moment.”

Din wasn’t content. “The child was with him. I don’t know how, but I’m not resting till I rescue him. Do you know where Loki went?”

Clint rubbed his wrists. “There are storage rooms down there. He probably grabbed some gear before fleeing to the sewers.” He looked at Natasha. “Before you say anything, at least I managed to put a tracker on him.”

“You’re getting old,” Natasha teased and took a look on Clint’s wound.

“Continue your bickering later, party people. I will rent us a room from a hotel. Let’s finish our party and then think about our plan. Again,” Tony sighed.


	10. New morning, new team

Din sat on his hotel room bed. His sleep had been interrupted by nightmares. Cold autumn sunshine shed through blinds and teased Natasha, who was sleeping next to him. Din was deeply inside his thoughts and devastated. In his nightmares he had seen Grogu sitting on a throne on Loki’s lap, and when he had tried to approach him, he had acted as if he didn’t recognize Din. Could Grogu really just forget him like that? Din was anxious, they had to get going unless they wanted to lose Loki.

The red dot on a digital map had been moving almost for the whole night. Did poor Grogu ever get his 12 hours long naps with Loki? No surprise he had looked so tired.

“Did you sleep at all?” Natasha asked. Her red hair was all messy and she rubbed her eyes.

“Enough.”

“If I see – wait, hear – you yawn once, I’ll put you back to bed. You deserve a break.”

Natasha got up and locked herself to the bathroom. Others were also starting to wake up. Tony had already left – he said he had to go and fight insurance companies – and Thor had returned to Asgard to report the news.

Nightmares weren’t the only thing that had kept Din up. He had felt like someone had been watching him, and that someone had been probably Clint.

Clint had already dressed and was maintaining his collapsible bow. Din walked to Clint and sat down next to him. Clint didn’t even glance at him.

“Nice bow,” Din started.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? Gotta make sure it’s ready for action today.” Clint had still one quiver, but the other was with Loki. “Nice spear.”

“Thanks. I want you to accompany me on the mission,” Din said straight forward.

Clint let out a laugh. “I’m glad my first impression made you convinced I’m the best choice. Really, I usually don’t spend time tied up in cabinets.”

“We all fail sometimes.”

Clint smiled slightly. “For me that’s more of ‘all the time’ than sometimes.”

“Listen. I need someone who does the job with no extra show-off. Natasha will take the other route so we can surround Loki. He’s clever and has probably trapped his surroundings, so I need back-up.”

“Of course I will help. In fact, I ask you to left Loki’s head to me. That bitch will never beat me again.”

“I can’t promise that. It would look good on my new ship.”

“Let’s split it half then.”

“Good idea.” Din stretched his arms and legs and almost hit Bruce who was still asleep on a mattress. He was snoring.

Natasha came out of the bathroom and the boys got up. She looked at Bruce. “Will we just leave him like that?”

“Don’t cleaners charge extra for hiding bodies?” Clint poked Bruce’s cheek with one of his arrows. “Why didn’t Tony take him?”

“To fight insurance companies? I don’t think he’s that desperate.” Natasha shook Bruce and he startled awake.

“Wha- where? Oh.” Bruce was half-naked and confused.

“We’re heading to the sewers,” Din explained. “Do you want to join us?” Actually Din really wished Bruce wouldn’t join them. Those tales about a big green angry man hadn’t convinced him. Bruce looked like a real nerd.

“That’s a weird place to eat breakfast…,” Bruce mumbled and dressed up. “Where are the others?”

“Doing important stuff, sleepyhead. Even Steve is doing secret important stuff, since he couldn’t tell why he didn’t attend our fake party,” Natasha told and put her shoes on. They left the room and went outside.

The weather was colder than yesterday. People held their hats so breeze wouldn’t rip them away. Din wasn’t cold as this was nothing compared to that planet with big nasty ice spiders with it. He was comforted by the thought: Grogu had survived there, so he would survive here, too. Or at least he would cause Loki a lot of trouble.

“The signal has stopped. Loki has either removed the tracker or is resting,” Clint reported from the tablet he was holding. “It is underneath the city. We should be able to walk there from subway track.”

“Wait, we’re actually going to the sewers?” Bruce rose his eyebrows. “I thought it was a joke.”

“No, Loki will be waiting for us at the breakfast,” Clint said. “You can call a taxi or join Natasha or us.”

“Call a taxi to the Helicarrier?”

“Natasha or us.”

Bruce looked at Natasha, causing her to smile. “It’s better I go alone, sorry,” she said.

Din sighed. He had hoped that he and Clint could finish the job fast, but now they had a clumsy nerd with them. “Okay. But you follow my instructions.”

“And you follow my instructions,” Clint said to Din.

Din nodded hesitantly. “And I follow your instructions.”

Natasha took a taxi to the other side of the town. Din, Bruce, and Clint headed to a shop to get some supplies first.

“We need gear before we head to sewers. Tracking Loki could take days, and trust me, those sewers have surprises,” Clint explained. He led them to a canned food section and started to pick some.

“Surprises? Is it too late to drop off?” Bruce looked nervous.

“If those stories of you are true, we could use some manpower.” Din took a can that said: “canned cheeseburger”. He dropped it to Clint’s cart.

“As long as you make sure I don’t break anything that holds the city together,” Bruce answered. They moved to another section of the store which had camping equipment. Clint picked up a tent and a lighter.

Din was thinking about Loki’s offer. Getting Grogu back to Skywalker in one piece had been the original mission, so he should stick to it. If Loki’s words were true, that meant Din couldn’t let the Avengers lock up Loki somewhere. Explaining that to Clint and others would be hard.

They moved to the cash desk. Clint dug his pockets but didn’t find anything. “Ah, I forgot Loki made me fund your party. Does anyone have cash?”

Bruce had so he paid. They headed to stairs which led to a subway station underground. The walls were dirty and full of graffiti.

Violin music companied crowd’s restless noise. Din spotted the violinist alongside the wall. A subway train stopped by, and commuters packed themselves there. Bruce was about to get in, but Clint stopped him.

“There’s no stop called Loki. We have to walk.” Clint jumped on the railway, Din and Bruce followed.

“Hey, there’s many reasons to live for!” Some stranger shouted after them.

Clint pulled out a hologram map which showed a labyrinth of passages. “S.H.I.E.L.D mapped the sewers years ago. Some of the canals are connected to subway routes, so going this way is the fastest.”

Din turned the small light on his helmet on. The farther they walked, the darker it became. Some rats squeaked and left a distance between them. The air was humid but also dusty.

“Why did Loki choose a place like this,” Bruce said and put on a respirator. Clint had thought that they would make the mission a bit more pleasant – they were in the sewers, in the end.

“We didn’t leave him much of a choice,” Clint answered, putting on the mask too. They turned right and noticed there was a metal lattice blocking the way to a round hallway. Clint just took an arrow, shot it, and made the barrier explode.

This place reminded Din of the Mandalorian hideout on Nevarro. This was less clean, though. “Travelling under city is faster and safer. We have to make sure all of Loki’s escape routes are blocked.”

“Nat will take care of that,” Clint answered. He turned a flashlight on, lighting the mouldy brick walls. “It’s better if we try to negotiate with Loki. He still has Din’s child.”

“Agreed.” Din started liking Clint – he seemed to have common sense.

The tracker started beeping louder. Clint turned it off. They slowed their steps and lowered their backs. Din’s temperature sensor couldn’t detect anything else than rats.

Din heard something from above. “Do you hear that?” The noise seemed to approach.

Clint nodded. “It sounds like... water!”

A grating on the roof let water through. First it was just tipping, but then a whole flood came. It knocked them over. Din lost the sight of others. The water stroke him against the walls, scratching his armour. He tried to grab something, but his fingers didn’t find anything.

Din’s head popped to the surface, and he gasped for air. His helmet’s light showed that there was a large empty space ahead of him.

But that space had no floor. Before Din could do anything, he dropped along a giant waterfall to the darkness.


	11. A soap problem

It was no wonder why Midgardian cities were so clean: they hid the garbage underground. This nasty place was not a place a god should be, but Loki had no other options. He had noticed that Barton’s arrow had had a tracker in it, so he had dropped it in the dirt water. Now he was just hiking and thinking. Grogu was sleeping on his arms.

Finally he arrived at a large underground structure. The roof was high, and there didn’t seem to be any sewerage here. It was like a hall. He had no idea what its purpose was, but he saw a flickering light in the middle of floor.

As he walked closer, he realized there were some people sitting by a fire. They had rugged clothes and were eating soup.

“Greetings, friends,” Loki started.

The people turned to him and looked scared. “Don’t hurt us, please!” someone begged.

“I’m not a threat. What are you doing down here?” Loki walked closer.

“Existing,” a man with a grey beard said. “No other place to go. We found this hall a while ago and decided to settle.”

Loki looked around, noticing beds made of old clothes. “I see.”

“What have you got there?” The man pointed at Grogu. Loki hadn’t bothered to hide him.

“A child. I’d like to ask your permission to stay here,” Loki said and sat down to an empty spot in the ring of people.

“My permission?” The man cracked up. “This is the rock bottom. Anyone who finds the way here is welcomed.”

Loki relaxed, creating a new plan. “My child here is in danger. As you can see, he’s not quite like the others. Evil scientists want to kidnap him and experiment on him. That’s why I am here. They broke into my apartment.”

The beard man reached his arms towards Loki. Loki gave sleeping Grogu to the man. The man looked at Grogu’s face and stroke it gently. “Why would anyone harm such a precious thing?”

“People are evil. But I see you all here have faced challenges in your life, so I know I can trust you.” Loki took a deep breath. “Actually, I want pay for the shelter. I have ways to make you more comfortable.”

“Well, we take any aid we can have.“ The man gave Grogu back. “Your child seems to be feeling ill. I don’t know, but that green doesn’t really look healthy.”

Loki looked at Grogu, who opened mouth and burped a bubble. A bubble? What the hell, that probably wasn’t a good thing even for an alien. Loki was not really familiar with green monkey anatomy, but he had to admit that all the energy had disappeared from Grogu. Loki touched Grogu’s forehead and used magic to travel into his mind.

He saw flashes from the Avengers Tower. Clint was there tied up, so it was the closet. Grogu took a bottle from a shelf. Clint shook his head and mumbled, but Grogu drank it empty, nevertheless.

Loki came back to reality. “Wait. You’re not saying you drank those soaps.”

Grogu let out another bubble as an answer.

“Oh dear. Any doctors nearby?”

The people shook their heads. “If we were, we wouldn’t be here.”

Alright. Loki couldn’t let Grogu die by any means. He was the only one who could teach him more about the strange magic. And having the child as a hostage was an effective way to keep the Avengers, or at least Din, from doing anything too crazy.

Loki grabbed a blanked near him and rolled it around Grogu. The medical field was unknown for him, he was more used to making or taking damage than healing it. Where he would get a doctor who could help someone like Grogu? Wait. He knew one person who was called doctor and also occasionally green.

Doctor Banner.

But first, he had to make sure no one could steal Grogu while he would be away. “Now, we’re going to make this place a bit more cozy,” Loki said and unpacked a bag.

He had snitched everything he could from the storage rooms at the Avengers Tower. Explosives, weapons, anything useful. “You beard man. You’re the co-leader now. Those evil scientists might have followed me, so we have to build a fortress to defend ourselves.”

“A fortress? Are you crazy?”

“That’s a private matter. Everyone, choose a weapon of your liking.”

“We-we don’t know how to shoot. Isn’t that a bit rude anyways?”

“It works just like in the movies,” Loki dismissed and threw a grenade at the brick wall behind him. It exploded loudly, detaching a couple of tiles. “This place is too unprotected. Build barricades of anything you can find.”

The beardman looked at Loki with his mouth open. “Is this really necessary? Talking is usually the best way to solve conflicts.”

Loki knew they needed coaxing before they would obey him. He pulled his sleeve up. The bruises of torture had almost healed, but the pale skin was still spotty here and there. “Does it look like they care about talking?” He sighed tiredly. “I beg you. I’m not sure if they will find us here but preparing costs nothing. Do it for the child.”

The people looked at his scars. The beardman nodded. “We hope there will be no fight, but we will help you.”

“Thank you, I’ll will be forever grateful.” Loki looked at Grogu. “Could someone take care of him, please?” Loki asked and just dumped Grogu to an older woman. “Don’t let him eat any trash.”

“Where are you going?”

“Business. And if the kid is not fine when I come back, someone else will not also be fine.” Loki smiled sweetly and headed to a hallway.

“If you’re planning to go up, the way’s not there.”

“I know damn well where I am going,” Loki said, not knowing where the hell he was going, but he didn’t want to show that to the people. The hallway was pitch dark. He drew his lightsaber to light his way.

Where could Banner be? Not at the Avenger Tower, probably. Loki had no idea how he could find him.

But soon he had other things to think about. There was a giant white obstacle in front of him. He walked closer and noticed it had a scaly texture. He poked it with the tip of the lightsaber.

A roar shook the atmosphere and a big tail punched Loki off his feet. He got up and realized it was a giant dragon-like creature. Its pale pink eyes with slit pupils looked at him like he was a snack.

“Oh, no, no. I can take the other way,” he said and grinned his teeth. “Sorry for bothering you.”

The alligator didn’t accept his apology. Loki raised his sword to defend position, shutting his eyes.


	12. Dads hunting underground

Falling freely in a waterfall was a new experience that Din didn’t want to have. He had closed his eyes and wished he wouldn’t hit the floor and die. The fall made his stomach turn upside.

But before Din reached the floor, someone grabbed him by his waist. Something really strong and big that pulled him out of the green slimy water. His helmet was dirty so he couldn’t see anything, he just heard roaring.

Din’s body flew across the air and finally he hit the ground, but from a safe distance. It hurt nevertheless and reminded him of his arrival to Earth. This time he had company, though. Clint fell right next to him. He rolled over and started coughing up the water. Din wiped his helmet just to see a flash of green disappearing to a hallway.

“Hulk hates the water!” was all the green flash had to say before leaving.

When Clint was done feeling disgusting, he turned his head to Din. “New objective. Catch Hulk before anyone notices or we’re in big trouble.”

“Hulk?”

“Bruce becomes Hulk when he gets angry. At least he had enough sense to pull us out of the water. I’m not sure if dying would have been that bad, at least I wouldn’t have this disgusting taste on my tongue.” He took a packet of mint pastilles and turned it over straight to his mouth.

“Won’t he just turn back to normal after some time?”

“Yeah, after he has destroyed everything. S.H.I.E.L.D has been keeping a close eye on him. The second they realize you were involved, you can say goodbye to sun. And your kid.”

Din got up and held his back. He would be ready to retire when returning home. He helped Clint up. They started running to the same direction Hulk had went. Their steps made splish splash sounds.

“How do we stop him?” Din asked. Killing probably wasn’t an option.

“Nat usually does this sort of thing, so I don’t really know. Act as if he was your child.”

“What?” Din had a feeling Hulk would not be impressed with a little metal ball or cookies, which Din had in one of his bags.

“You know, act like when you’re putting your kid to sleep. Bedtime stories and stuff. Or do you mean your child sleeps just fine? To me, he seemed like troublemaker type.”

“Uhh, he does sleep a lot. Usually he just exhausts himself, so it really isn’t a problem.”

“Maybe your kid can play with mine sometime,” Clint said casually and stopped to listen.

Din could also hear distant roaring. But it was accompanied by higher pitch. “It sounds like he just stepped on a chicken or is fighting something.”

Clint nodded. They approached the roaring with slow steps. Hulk was behind the wall, but suddenly the roaring stopped. Instead, it sounded like something was being dragged away.

Clint prepared an arrow as he peeked around the corner. “Where did he go?”

Din crouched and slid his fingers on the floor. “This blood appears to be Hulk’s. Something really just dragged him away like that.” He checked the footprints with his helmet, but the floor was too wet.

“Or more, likely, Hulk took someone like that. I hope it was one of the ninja turtles and not a civilian.”

Din nodded, not understanding what a ninja turtle was. They continued the hunt. Din’s heart was beating faster and his hands tingled. This corridor was large, at least 20 meters high. Anything could fit in there. He turned his thermometer on, looking for traces of life, not finding any.

They had been walking for minutes until Clint finally gestured Din to stop. There was light ahead. Din’s helmet detected multiple human beings within a large area. “There’s so many people. Who are they?”

“Hopefully not an ancient civilization grilling Hulk for dinner,” Clint whispered. He pointed at a barricade that was made out of pieces of scrap metal. “Someone is up there… wait. That weapon looks familiar.”

Din took a look with his small telescope. An untidy woman was holding a bow similar to Clint’s. “So she isn’t a member of your tribe?”

“Tribe?” Clint squinted his eyes.

“Like the Mandalorians. We all have helmets like this.”

“So you’re a part of a cult like Tony suggested.”

“It’s not a cult. More like a religion.”

“That’s what they all say. I hope your religion doesn’t forbid beating the shit out of those guys. I don’t know how they got those weapons, but we’re getting them back.”

They sneaked closer. Clint shot an arrow to the barricade, and it exploded immediately. The woman on it slipped and screamed.

The explosion alerted all the others. Din noticed these people weren’t trained soldiers. Even though many were wielding weapons, they looked scared. Some just ran away. Clint was about to shoot another arrow, but then lowered his weapon when he noticed the same thing.

“I don’t know who you are, but we are not enemies,” Clint shouted.

“Are you police officers? Scientists?” a man with long white beard asked.

Din looked at Clint. “Do Earth’s scientists dress like this?”

“Scientists are the weirdest,” Clint noted and then turned back to the man. “We’re after a green muscular man. Pretty hard to miss, have you seen him?”

The people started muttering to each other.

“Our leader has ordered to not let anyone pass through,” the man answered.

“I want to meet your leader, then.” Din walked closer and put his blaster back to its holder. “We can discuss about this.”

They didn’t have a chance to discuss about it, because a huge roar split the air. Hulk was thrown out of another hallway to the wall of the hall. People under ran to safety. Hulk grunted and huffed.

But the thrower was something Din had never seen before. It was a giant albino lizard. Its jaws were full of pointy teeth, and a tongue of size of a speeder was licking a fresh wound on its cheek.

“An alligator! That was third one on my surprise checklist” Clint stated. “New York, city of wonders.”

That wasn’t all. What came next surprised Din. There was a man standing on the lizard’s back. His green cape waved, and in his hands he had two green lightsabers.

“Why won’t you just calm down, stupid blockhead!” Loki screamed and piloted the alligator towards Hulk who had already recovered from the collision.

“Oh, I didn’t even put him on the checklist. Din, you take down Loki. I try to reason with Banner.”

Din looked at a car body that Hulk threw at the lizard. The lizard chewed it half. “Good luck.”

Clint went ahead after guiding the civilians out of the battleground. Din ran to the alligator and jumped on its tail.

It was a wavy ride, but he managed to grab a gnarl and keep his balance. He started climbing up. Loki was fully focused on Hulk, who threw a mattress at him. He sliced the mattress in half with his lightsabers.

Din took his blaster and aimed. The lizard’s back was bouncing, but Din was able to shoot Loki. The laser burned his cape.

Loki turned around and crossed his lightsabers. “Well, well, look who came to the party.”

“Stop this madness. There are outsiders who can get hurt.” Din approached Loki on the alligators back. He saw Clint screaming to Hulk on the corner of his eye.

“You’re the outsiders here. Just a while ago these people were shivering and scared, but with my lead, they had a chance to a better future.”

“Where is the child?” Din asked. He bend his knees to not fall off.

Loki smiled. “Ask doctor Banner.”

Din looked at Hulk, who was banging the alligator’s head with his fists. Din couldn’t see Grogu anywhere, but then it hit him. “He ate Grogu?”

Loki shrugged. “It was an accident. But after I slice you, you’ll be able to reunite with him.”

He attacked.


	13. Dentist Din at your service

Din couldn’t believe it. He watched roaring Hulk in horror. While Din’s attention was elsewhere, Loki exploited it and leaped at him with his swords drawn. The lightsabers scratched the beskar armour. Din answered with a quick slit with his vibro-knife. It surprised Loki and wounded his left shoulder.

“Clint! Hulk ate my child!” Din shouted while fighting Loki, dodging his attacks as well as he could.

“Bad Hulk! Wait till Bruce hears about this, he will have another emotional breakdown,” Clint yelled to Hulk, who was trying to strangle the alligator, but his arms weren’t wide enough to do so. The alligator opened its mouth, attempting to bite Hulk.

This wasn’t the first time Grogu had been eaten, but this time he didn’t have his metallic cradle to protect him. Din tried to finish the fight quickly, but Loki was a skilled warrior. Fortunately, the lightsaber couldn’t cut through the beskar, otherwise he would have been injured already. Loki’s eyes were seeking for weak spots.

“I got an idea! But I need my other quiver,” Clint shouted.

Din realized that Clint meant the quiver on Loki’s back. Before Din could reach it, Loki stroke his lightsabers to Din’s neck, cutting part of his cape and injuring the skin underneath. The pain was awful, it burnt like a papercut multiplied with a hundred. Din’s eyes watered, but in return he sliced Loki again with his knife, this time to his forehead.

The blood covered Loki’s vision for a second, so Din was able to cut the quiver and throw it to Clint.

“You fools! You cannot best me,” Loki screamed, wiping his forehead with his palm. Din noticed that Loki’s eyes looked different, but just for a flash second.

Loki swiped his hand upward. A force flicked Din off the alligator’s back. He hit the ground but was more surprised than hurt. Did Loki know how to use the Force or whatever that magic was called? Sheesh, Din really wanted to just vaporize Loki with his rifle, but his mission was to bring target alive.

Clint shot the arrow at Hulk. It sunk into the green skin and made Hulk roar. However, the effect didn’t have time to show, because now unoccupied Loki was controlling the alligator. The beast opened its jaws and swallowed Hulk!

Din knew he had to act now. He ran to the alligator’s head and jumped into its mouth, joining Hulk. He heard Clint yelling something.

It was dark and slimy. The mouth wasn’t really roomy, so raging Hulk squished Din against a row of teeth. The alligator had trouble chewing them both.

Din opened his flamethrower, directing it to the beast’s palate. It made the alligator screech and spit them both out.

Not having time to clean himself, Din attacked Hulk. His hands grabbed Hulk’s jaw. “Spit Grogu out. I won’t ask second time.”

Hulk struggled, but the sedative was finally starting to affect, so he opened his mouth. Din just crammed his arm down, causing Hulk to puke.

Straight with all the other nasty stuff, Grogu dropped on Din’s arms. “Grogu. Say something. Say something now!”

Din’s heart skipped a beat, but finally Grogu opened his eyes. He seemed to be unharmed but nauseous – which wasn’t very odd after hanging in gastric acids for a while. Probably the Force had protected him.

“Really, you should consider a career as a dentist,” Clint said, making Din realize there was still more than just him and Grogu.

The alligator had fled to the deeper sewers. But Loki was standing in a distance with his lightsabers. Hulk was starting to fall asleep after Clint had poked him with a few more sedative arrows.

Din rubbed the saliva off from Grogu’s face with his cape. Grogu whined.

“Shh. It’s going to be okay,” Din whispered.

But before he could leave this sewer and make Grogu comfortable, he had to wrap a little gift for the Avengers.

Hesitantly he gave Grogu to Clint. “I will take care of Loki. Keep Grogu safe – and far from Hulk.”

“Just keep Loki busy and stay out of my way. When his guard is down, I will give him the same treatment which Hulk got.” Clint took Grogu and held him gently.

Din walked towards Loki and took a deep breath. Dual-wielding Jedi was a tough opponent. His short fight with Ahsoka Tano had proved that to him.

“You cleaned up the chaos. I have to say, I’m impressed,” Loki said. They started circling around each other like two predators.

“I’ve dealt with worse,” Din answered.

Loki smiled, but Din was able to see that the smile had become forced. Instead of saying something clever back, Loki attacked. Din drew his spear.

They brawled. Strike after strike, but no notable damage was done. The pace was so quick that Clint didn’t have a chance to shoot Loki without risking it hitting Din.

“We can continue doing this,” Din huffed, “or end this with a deal.”

“The only deal I’ll accept is you lying below my feet. A mortal being cannot exhaust a god,” Loki answered. His hair was messy and he was sweating, but Din’s limbs felt like beskar.

“Hey, your choreographies are cool, but little guy is starting to feel really bad here!” Clint shouted. Din glanced there but couldn’t spot Grogu. But if it made Clint worried, it had to be bad.

So, Din grabbed Loki’s cape and yanked him close. Loki’s hold of his lightsabers slipped, and they hit the ground. Din went behind Loki and crossed his arms around his enemy’s neck.

“Clint, now!” Din screamed.

Clint wasn’t prepared, but he shot an arrow quickly.

But it was a wrong one. Din heard it started beeping, and there was red light along its tip. Din tried to dodge, but it was too late.

The explosion knocked them both over. Thankfully, this bomb arrow was less effective one, otherwise both would have died.

Din pushed Loki off his chest and blinked his eyes. The explosion was so bright he didn’t see anything for a while. He grunted and got up on his knees. Again, the beskar steel had protected him for major harm, but Loki hadn’t been as lucky.

Din turned his head to Loki, who was gasping. His whole chest was covered with blood, and it created a puddle underneath him.

“Uh Mando, we got a problem,” Clint yelled. Instead of turning back to Bruce, Hulk was starting to get angrier again. Clint was searching for another arrow, but Hulk grabbed his arm and crushed it.

“Does it look it’s easy here? I think Loki just stopped breathing,” Din shouted back and crawled to Loki. He checked his vitals and found nothing.

“Good! Wasn’t that the intent – ahh, stop it bastard!” Hulk had just swung Clint to the air and was about to mash him to the ground.

Din couldn’t let Loki die since he was his only ticket home. After hesitating, he interlocked his fingers and started compressing Loki’s chest. It let out a nasty crunch – something was probably broken. Din heard Clint fighting Hulk, so he took his helmet off.

The air touched Din’s sweaty face. Quickly, he bend over Loki’s mouth and blew. He continued the CPR until Loki finally took a breath himself. His skin had been turning blue already.

Loki opened his eyes slowly. “Don’t say you kissed me,” Loki wheezed and tried to chuckle, but instead coughed up blood. It dripped down his jaw. “I’m starting to think you wife cheated on you. You look nothing like your kid.”

“He’s a foundling,” Din said and put his helmet back. Showing his face hadn’t become any easier, but at least Loki didn’t die.

Loki smiled faintly. “So was I.” He passed out.


	14. Words from the (bare) heart

Loki woke up after Din slapped his cheek. Din had teared Loki’s green cape and was trying to staunch the bleeding Loki’s chest.

Loki’s ears picked a female voice that was trying to soothe Hulk. Apparently that worked, since Loki saw Hulk turning back to Bruce. Natasha gave him clothes to dress up. Clint picked up Grogu and hurried to Din.

“How bad is it?” Clint asked and looked at Loki, who couldn’t control the tears of pain. He hated looking so weak in front of his enemies.

“’I’m not a doctor but I think he will die’ – kind of bad.” Din pressed the cloth against Loki. It hurt like hell and he couldn’t help but let out a scream.

Natasha and Bruce arrived. Natasha was holding Grogu, who wasn’t looking too good himself. Clint’s arm was dislocated and maybe broken. Bruce was fine physically, but mentally he was horrified about the destruction he had once again caused.

“I leave you boys for a second and everything becomes ruins,” Natasha complained and turned her ear bud on. She tried to speak to it, but it just let out a buzz. “Damn this humid air! I can’t call back-up. We need to get to the Avengers Tower. Now.”

Loki was surprised they wanted to keep him alive in the first place. He himself didn’t really agree with that – having all ribs broken made life fairly unappealing.

The homeless people returned slowly to their destroyed home. Loki actually felt sorry for them, but this was the Avengers’ fault, not his.

The beard man walked to them and handed Natasha a blanket. “We don’t have a stretcher here, but hopefully this is enough.”

“Thank you. And sorry. Our prisoner here is a real pain in the ass sometimes. Tony Stark will fund the rebuilding,” Natasha said. With help of Din and Bruce she lifted Loki on the blanket. Loki coughed up more blood, and his vision became black.

Next time Loki woke up he inhaled fresh cold air. For a second he thought he was in Asgard again, but then his eyes focused on the Avengers building. He had no idea how long it had been, but somehow, they all had made it out of the sewers.

There were some repairers fixing the lobby. The walls were still black because of the smoke, but otherwise the damage had already been fixed.

The elevator opened and Loki’s second favourite person Tony Stark walked out of it. Great, more audience for this disgrace tragedy!

“Why didn’t you call me?” Tony was annoyed, but it quickly changed to shock. His jaw dropped. “Man, y’all look like shit.”

“Is the laboratory ready?” Clint asked and tried to pull his arm back to its right place, not succeeding.

Tony stopped and pointed at Loki. “You’re saying I have to help this biohazard?” His face looked like he was looking at a dead rat.

“Who hurt you? Oh wait, I did,” Loki snapped back and coughed up more blood.

“He can’t die. I need him to return home,” Din said. He looked at Tony pleadingly.

Tony hesitated, but then his facial expression softened. “Alright. Now we have to act fast.”

They rushed to the elevator, barely fitting there. Loki felt so vulnerable. Laying there in pain made his memories of Odin and Thanos came back. He fought the tears and tried to put on his resting bitch face, but it was difficult. It didn’t help that Tony was checking his eyes with a penlight.

“Stop flashing that stupid light!” Loki snarled.

“Okay, he is as stupid as usual, no brain damage,” Tony said.

“I will give you brain damage you piece of-“

The elevator’s ting and pain interrupted Loki’s sentence. They had arrived a hospital floor.

“If you would’ve warned beforehand, I could have crashcoursed the whole med school,” Tony complained. They entered an operating room with glass walls.

Din and Natasha lifted Loki on an operating table. It hurt even more.

“A-aren’t you gonna call a real doctor?” Loki asked. Midgard was so primitive that they actually cut their people to fix them! As if magic didn’t exist. Getting sliced by his enemies didn’t tempt him.

A sarcastic smile rose to Tony’s face. “In case you didn’t know, you aren’t exactly in vogue here on Earth. You’re lucky that Mango likes you.”

“I don’t like him. Does anybody have stuff that would fix Grogu?” Din held sleeping Grogu on his arms.

“I love you too. Grogu drank some soap, by the way,” Loki mumbled. He heard Clint screaming when Natasha finally pulled the dislocated arm back to its place.

Bruce took Grogu and looked at his face. “Soap? I mean I’m not a medical professional, but I think we can’t do anything now. Alien physiology differs from us, so the consequences are unpredictable. He just needs rest.”

Din took Grogu back and pet his head which was covered in thin hair. “Come on. I know you will survive this.” He found some towels from a worktop and created a comfy nest for his kid.

“Speaking of alien physiology, what’s inside you?” Tony was starting to remove Loki’s shirt – or what was left of it.

“Ouch, careful there. I don’t know, I have never looked.” The pain was getting worse and the whole room started spinning. Natasha and Clint left the room. Din sat down on the worktop next to Grogu. He was watching Loki. Loki wondered what he was thinking about.

“Someone call Thor so he can hear his brother’s last words.” Tony got the shirt off and looked at the sight in horror. “Oof. Looks like a roadkill.”

Loki sighed, but his lungs just let out a fizzle. He wanted to say something snarky back, but honestly, his limbs felt cold. His thoughts and mind were drifting apart from each other.

“J.A.R.V.I.S, I hope you google fast. What kind of shit should we pump into him so he doesn’t die?” Tony asked. J.A.R.V.I.S started scanning Loki’s body with a blue light.

Bruce gave Tony a white jacket and dressed up in one himself. “I couldn’t find any other anaesthetics than laughing gas and propofol.”

“Well, let’s get the party started then.” Tony connected the laughing gas tube to a mask and put it on Loki’s mouth. Bruce inserted a cannula on Loki’s left arm, starting to instil blood supplements and medicine.

“I have detected several broken ribs and large wounds on thorax. The subject is suffering from a severe blood loss. Blood pressure is low and breathing shallow,” J.A.R.V.I.S analysed.

“And how do we fix that?” Tony asked and put on plastic gloves.

“Bones need support before they start to heal. I suggest using metal.”

“Where the hell I’m going to get that from? Garbage bin?”

Din stood up and dug a something from one of his pockets. “This could do. It’s a piece of beskar I haven’t yet used for anything.” He handed it to Tony.

Loki guessed beskar was the metal that Din’s armour was made of. He heard from Din’s voice that this beskar was meaningful for him. He didn’t understand why Din wanted to give away such a precious thing.

Tony took the metal that was shaped like a chocolate bar. “I’ll forge it to fit. Bruce, you can do the rest.” Tony left the room, but because the walls were glass, Loki could see him to start working in the other room.

“Well thank you! I have never had a patient with open ribcage like this. At least it’s not a big loss if I mess it up.” Bruce started inspecting the damage after putting on his glasses.

“I love being around such caring people,” Loki said. The medicine was effective and the pain was almost gone. His limbs felt still numb, though. Actually, he’s mood started lifting a bit too quickly for his liking. It was like another version of himself was trying to get the control.

The arrival of Thor didn’t help that either. His beloved brother rushed to the operating room. His face hurt Loki more than the injury. It was a mix of anger, shock and maybe even… concern?

“When Natasha told me about a crisis regarding you, I didn’t think of this.” Thor took Loki’s cold hand. Loki couldn’t move it.

“It’s good to see you too, brother. Did dad send his regards?”

Thor was quiet for a while. “He said it would have been better if you had died.”

Loki tried to smile, but his muscles didn’t obey. “That’s right, though. He must be tired torturing me already.”

“He is what now?” Thor scowled.

“Of course he wouldn’t show the harsh world to his golden boy. Criminals deserve no rights, after all.” Loki’s self-control was banging far away – or maybe it was just a headache from blood loss. Everything just came out of his mouth. “Even if it was his own son.”

“Odin knows what’s best. You needed a lesson but look at you now. I guess it wasn’t hard enough.” Thor crossed his arms. The tone of his voice reminded Loki of Odin way too much.

Loki wasn’t sure if he felt a wave of pain because of Thor’s words or because of the fact that Bruce was holding a part of his spleen in his hands. Probably both. His mind fell into complete chaos. The drugs told him to laugh, but he felt so sad, so tired. He wanted to tell Thor so bad that invading New York hadn’t been his choice, but he wasn’t able to. He couldn’t show weakness. If there was greater weakness than laying on a table chest open, though.

“In case he survives, he will be returned to Asgard immediately,” Thor blurted and left the room.

Loki wasn’t able to control his tears. They filled his eyes, and he started gasping.

“Is he laughing or crying?” Din asked, concerned.

“Whatever, could you please hold him down? That jolting isn’t helping at all,” Bruce asked. His hands were still correcting the ribcage.

Din held Loki’s hands against the table. He looked at Loki. At least that stupid helmet hide his possible judgemental gaze. That narrow black visor – it looked like he almost understood what Loki was going through.

It was the last thing he saw before falling asleep.


	15. Creepy crawlies

Bruce drank water from a bottle. The surgery was over, and Loki was sleeping in a locked room with glass walls. Din and the Avengers were watching him and sitting in a round table.

“When will he be recovered enough to help me out of here?” Din asked. He was slowly petting Grogu’s head. Grogu snuggled Din’s chest plate. The child seemed to be healing, too. Din’s heart felt warm.

“He’s a god. Healing won’t take that long, right?” Bruce asked Thor.

“True. Loki is a persistent fellow. I wonder how my father will punish him this time,” Thor said and rubbed his hammer against his palm.

Tony sipped a cup of coffee. “Hopefully with something that actually works. Also, we must keep Loki as a secret now. No words to S.H.I.E.L.D. If they get to know he’s here, I doubt they will let Asgard handle him this time. Apparently, cells of Asgard have ratholes suitable for Loki.” He moved from coffee to a pink icing donut. He had managed to create suitable props out of beskar to fix Loki’s chest and was celebrating it.

“Guards were busy at the time,” Thor objected. Din noticed that this was an uncomfortable topic for Thor – there had to be something more than that.

“’Busy’ like guards always are. Honestly, I think everyone wants to be a guard for the cool outfit, and when something actually happens, they are scared like little kids,” Tony said and shrugged.

“There was an intruder who killed twenty guards,” Thor retorted. “The killer was never found. Even Heimdall, who sees everything, couldn’t find them. As if they never were there in the first place.”

Tony’s jaw dropped. “And you didn’t tell us?”

“The Avengers are Midgard’s mightiest heroes, not Asgard’s. We can handle it ourselves.”

“Well clearly you can’t! Loki slips loose and an unknown being kills people. Does it sound like you have your shit together?”

Thor banged his fist to the table. A donut flew to the air. “Even if the Tesseract is gone, we have our shit together!”

Tony squinted his eyes. “What did he just say?”

“I said we have our shit together!”

“He said the Tesseract is missing,” Natasha noted. She was massaging Clint’s sprained arm, and Clint was trying to figure out why did his backpack have a canned cheese hamburger in it.

Tony sighed and put his head between his hands. “Say it is with your brother. There is nobody who would match Loki with his love to the Tesseract.”

“Once again it’s not with him. Loki went missing earlier and I believe he travelled immediately to Midgard.” Thor started pacing around. “Even Loki wouldn’t hurt his own people so brutally.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but what is the Tesseract?” Din asked.

“Blue Rubik’s cube which has powers of creating a portal for giant man-eaters. Loki is very attached to it,” Tony explained.

Din nodded. It probably wasn’t a good thing that something like that had been stolen. “So, how do we find it?”

“We could track the gamma radiation like we did last time,” Bruce suggested.

Tony shook his head. “That equipment was at the old Helicarrier. The new one has it too – but using it without consulting Fury would be risky. If he learns that the Tesseract has been stolen, he will lose his rag.”

“To be honest, I’m not too excited about alien invasion part two. I think it would be worth it to check before it’s too late,” Clint said. He threw the canned cheese hamburger away.

Tony sighed. “Alright. But this means someone has to distract Fury meanwhile Bruce and I start the scan. And somebody has to look after Loki.”

“I wish Steve were here. He would create a plan,” Natasha said.

“Hey, does that mean my planning isn’t good enough?” Tony stood up. “Captain is now unable, so we have survive with this squad. Mando, at least you are coming with us.”

“Me?” Din pointed his index finger at his own chest. “Why me?”

“It’s a good excuse for a visit. We’ll say you came to see your ship. Then you entertain Fury while we do the scanning. Clint, Nat, will you be with Mando?”

“My injury would raise questions,” Clint noted and showed his wound. “I think it’s better-“

Clint quieted, and Din realized why. On the airducts at the roof, there was a strange sound. It sounded like something was crawling there.

“It sounds like a giant enemy spider,” Bruce whispered.

“More like a cockroach,” Thor swung his hammer at the duct. Something screamed as the metal folded. The crawling intensified and moved to the room where Loki was.

Tony rushed to the door and opened it with his fingerprints. At the same time, the source of the noise dropped on the floor.

This wasn’t a human, but neither it was like any of the aliens Din had encountered. It’s body was built similarly to humans, but the skin was grey. It was wearing a light metal armour and helmet with dirty golden embroidery. Or, it looked like the armour was part of the body itself.

It attacked Tony immediately, but Din was fastest to act; he shot the alien with his blaster. The attacker dropped dead on the ground.

“A Chitauri?” Bruce walked to the creature and inspected its head.

“No, no!” Loki whispered. The gunshot had awakened him. He glanced around and held his blanket against his chest. “They have found me!”

Thor walked to the bed. “What do you mean? Did it try to free you? Where did it come from?”

Loki looked at him fearfully. “Father don’t punish me… please. It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t control myself!” He started weeping. Tears run down his face as he buried his face to his knees.

“He’s still high on painkillers,” Tony noted.

Din approached Loki, still holding Grogu on his hands. “What does he mean?”

“Loki. Look at me,” Thor commanded and looked tightly at Loki’s eyes. Loki raised his head. His eyes were red and watery.

Thor took his brother’s hand and rubbed it gently. “What couldn’t you control?”

“The New York. I couldn’t stop it, I was so weak. He didn’t leave me a choice…” Loki closed his eyes and inhaled loudly. He whined in pain. “I was just a puppet. But I failed, like I have failed at everything else.”

Thor was out of words. He seemed to be progressing the information. “So this Chitauri was going to kill you?”

Loki nodded and rolled in his bed to avoid looking at Thor. “Leave me alone.” His voice sounded more serious, as his real self wanted to stop this drunken confession.

Tony grabbed the Chitauri as they left the room quietly. When the door closed, he exhaled loudly. “Better drama than in the soap operas nowadays!”

“But if he spoke the truth, that means we have been fighting the wrong guy all along,” Natasha said. “Who is the real villain then?”

Thor looked out of the window. “I don’t know. But this means we cannot leave Loki here. If there is one Chitauri, there will be more. He’s coming with us to the Helicarrier.”

Tony was shocked. “That’s crazy! It’s like bringing a bomb.”

Din sighed. He knew this wasn’t going to play out well.


	16. Troublemaker is back on his feet

“Hehe, are you all crazy?” Loki laughed. The Avengers plus Din were standing by his bed. It had been two days since his surgery. However, he had been given more painkillers to be able to function. They were making everything so hilarious.

“That’s what I said.” Tony shook his head.

“I would love to come with you! Can’t wait to be imprisoned in that big glass thing again.” Loki raised his hand when Bruce took the cannula off. Even though he still had a terrible headache, he was feeling a lot better. Grogu and Din had visited him earlier, and he suspected that Grogu had given him some invisible healing fairy dust.

Din helped Loki out of the bed with Natasha. “Thor, are you still sure this is a good idea? There has been no signs of attackers last few days.”

“I don’t like it either, but I think we have no choice.” Thor had been acting pretty distant lately. Loki didn’t understand why. Maybe he was upset about the injury. He didn’t recall talking to Thor at all last few days.

Loki’s bare feet touched the ground. He hadn’t left the bed besides using the toilet. To his surprise, he was able to walk just fine – okay, he almost tripped, but only almost. Actually, the only difference was the giant bandage covering his chest. “Let’s go!”

Din grabbed Loki’s wrist. “Dress up first.”

“Oh, will you help me with it?” Loki smirked.

“I don’t need another kid to look after,” Din snorted and let Loki’s hand go.

Loki winked and summoned his usual clothes but without the helmet. He had really missed this green. It made him feel powerful.

The Quinjet was waiting for them outside, so everyone packed there. Thor handcuffed Loki, and Din haled him inside the ship. Loki made eye contact with Grogu, who was peeking out of Din’s brown bag. He tried to speak to the kid with telepathy – or the Force – Grogu just chuckled at him.

“You and I will make a mess. Understood?” Loki worded with his mouth which made Grogu just chuckle more.

Loki sat between Din and Thor. Tony, Clint, and Natasha went to the cabin and started the engines. They took off. Loki looked out of a small window, seeing the shrinking city. The clouds were heavy today, almost black.

“Are you creating those clouds, weather boy?” Loki asked his brother. “What’s making you so angry on this beautiful day?”

“You. You’re making me angry,” Thor snarled.

“So it’s just all back to normal. What a pity that I don’t have my dagger, it could crown this ordinary day. Where did you put my light sticks, by the way? They would look good on your chest. We could have matching bandages.” The medicine really lifted Loki’s silver tongue to a new level.

Loki noticed that Thor’s corner of the mouth lifted up a little. “The light sticks are with Din. He said he will return them to their rightful owners.”

“Do the owners really deserve them if they let me take them?”

Din turned his head to Loki. “Even though you’re capable of committing a crime without getting caught doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do,” he said and held Grogu tighter against his lap.

“Oh, a bounty hunter armed from head to toe is teaching me morals? Tell me, how many have those pretty hands killed?” Loki smiled, teasing Din was such a joy.

“Should’ve just strangled you to death when I had the chance…” Din sighed.

“Try harder this time dadd-“

Thor slammed his hand on Loki’s mouth. “I think that’s enough for this time. Anyone got a muzzle?”

“I always have a few for sudden cases of rabies and kinky guests,” Tony yelled and threw one. Thor put it on.

Loki was disappointed and soon very bored. The flight took ages and everyone else was quiet. Heroes, always so boring. But eventually the Helicarrier appeared in the horizon. The sight made Loki feel uneasy as he remembered the last time he had been there. If he weren’t still injured, he would have a chance to escape. On the other hand, he wasn’t sure how that would benefit him. So, he decided to go along and see what would happen and improvise.

They landed on the deck. Loki was getting up, but Thor pushed him down. “We stay here until Tony and others have done the job.”

Loki tried to protest, but it turned out he didn’t have to. Nick Fury himself approached the Quinjet. That made the Avengers panic.

“Loki quick! Disguise yourself!” Thor commanded as Tony opened the door and welcomed Fury with a big smile.

Loki couldn’t think of anything. But then he remembered the bunch was missing a walking flag, so he chose Steve Rogers. His green outfit changed to a blue-white-red combination. The suit was so tight! And his shoulders so broad! And the shield on his back would be a good platter for Thor’s head!

Tony gestured them to come outside, and so they did. Loki fixed his posture to be as straight as possible, but he couldn’t help his wonky steps. Thor supported him but disguised it as a brotherly hug. It made Loki feel warm.

“What’s bringing you all here?” Fury asked, looking at the Avengers feat Din suspiciously. Din had closed the bag, so Grogu was hidden.

“We all wanted to see the humongous spaceship Tony told us about,” Clint said. He was covering his wounded chest with a black coat.

“Humongous is a really a correct word. Hey Rogers, I thought you were on a mission.” Fury turned to Loki.

Shit! Even though Loki was still out of his mind, he realized it would be bad if Fury caught them. But he couldn’t say anything because of the muzzle! At least it couldn’t be seen outside.

Thankfully, Tony saved the situation. He slapped his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “He came and asked us for help. We decided to come here to plan as the Avengers Tower is still under repair.”

Loki nodded and smiled in agreement.

“Oh yeah, I heard about the accident. The news said it was a gas pipe that exploded. I didn’t expect you to be so sloppy with engineering, Stark.” Fury looked closely at Tony’s face.

“Me? Sloppy? This contraption wouldn’t even be flying without me.”

“Fair enough. Well, do you mind if I steal your guest for a while? I have a few questions for him,” Fury said and nodded to Din. Din crammed Grogu deeper in his bag and went with Fury. Loki wanted to go with him, and as if the universe had heard, Fury fulfilled his wish.

“Rogers too! I need a report of that mission,” Fury called out without turning his head.

Thor teared the muzzle off Loki’s face when Fury wasn’t looking.

“The cuffs too, idiot!” Loki hissed.

Thor clicked them off hesitantly. “You’re gonna be a good boy. I don’t want to hear anything destroyed or I’ll yeet you straight back to father’s loving lap.”

“Alright, alright,” Loki mumbled and rubbed his wrists. He would do everything without destroying anything. Or someone else would destroy everything for him. “What’s America’s best boy’s mission, though? What will I say?”

“I don’t know and I wouldn’t tell you.” Thor pushed him to Fury’s direction. “Just act like the snake you are. You know, making everything favourable for you.”

Loki smirked. He took that as a permission to screw everything up.

Tony looked at Thor with a concerned face. “Are sure you want let this disaster god meet Fury alone?”

“Mando will keep him in place,” Thor answered.

“Great! A clueless metal hermit grab and his Toy Story alien kid will sure handle it. Thor, it’s your turn to keep this ship in the air when something blows up.” Tony started walking inside. Bruce followed him, but Natasha and Clint were doubtful.

“Shouldn’t at least one of us go with him?” Natasha said and knitted her brows.

Fury turned around. “What is taking so long?” He shouted.

Loki took a few sprint steps just to notice it hurt like hell. Although Grogu had healed him a bit, the bones weren’t fully ossified yet. He slowed down when he reached Fury and Din.

Fury led them to a fine meeting room. It was ironically ordinary looking – a long wooden table and creaky chairs. Loki guessed all the budget had gone to the ship itself.

“Sit down, please, so we can start our little talk.”

Loki knew he was going to start something else, too.


	17. Habit of backstabbing

Din prayed that Loki would keep a low profile. Loki had taken a form of a man Din hadn’t met yet, but he guessed it was the America fanboy Tony had told him about. Blond short hair and muscular body dressed in blue-white-red striped costume. Seriously, this Rogers seemed to be the worst pick for Loki to play, a polar opposite.

Not to mention Din’s own little secret. Grogu had healed from the soap problem and was super excited about his new surroundings. Din had to hold the flap of his bag with his left hand so Grogu wouldn’t peek out.

He sat on a chair and Loki sat next to him. Fury himself didn’t sit down, he kept walking around.

“So, have you liked your visit on Earth?” Fury asked.

“I haven’t had a lot of time to do sightseeing. Better than many other planets, though,” Din replied. At least his enemies weren’t here. Unless Loki counted.

“You have stayed inside the Avengers Tower, right?”

Din wasn’t sure which was the right answer. “I have visited the streets promptly. With a guard, of course.”

Fury smiled. “Well done. At least someone knows how to obey the rules. Rogers, I want your report.”

Loki was staring at the wall and startled. “Umm yes! There were unexpected difficulties during the mission. I had to retreat and consult other Avengers for help.”

“Which kind of difficulties?” Fury squinted his eye.

“I’m dummy thick and the clap of my ass cheeks keep alerting the guards,” Loki said and held back a burst of laugh. Din kicked his foot under the table.

“Excuse me?” Fury said, confused.

Loki cleared his throat and attained a more serious tone. “I apologize. I wonder how such words could come out from my mouth. As if there was someone else controlling me right now.” He glimpsed at Din.

Wait. Din didn’t like the way this was going. “Captain Rogers must be tired. He has been working on the mission all alone.”

“I want to see the fellow that makes a super soldier tire.” Fury’s suspicions were already rising.

“Oh, you don’t need to look far. He’s right here,” Loki said.

Din thought Loki was about to give himself away, but instead he pointed at Din. Oh no, now Din realized. Loki was showing backstabber symptoms.

“Captain, do you mean this is the one who has been assembling the criminal gangs? The characterises fits, though. That helmet and all.” Fury’s facial expression hardened.

Loki stood up and snatched Din’s bag in which Grogu was. “I suggest arresting him immediately. He is also capable of mind control, which you just witnessed. This makes him extremely dangerous.”

Din blamed himself for not noticing Loki’s intentions earlier. And he seriously had thought that giving the beskar to fix Loki’s chest would be the same as helping a poor foundling… no, this god was a manipulative bitch.

Fury drew his pistol and aimed it at Din. “Your first impression wasn’t very friendly, but agent Romanoff’s and agent Barton’s reports proved otherwise. Apparently, it was just your mind control abilities.”

Din raised his hands. “There has been a misunderstanding. The real villain is-“

“Don’t listen to a single word he says. He is a skilled manipulator.” Loki continued to disarm Din, taking his blaster, spear, and rifle. Even the lightsabers and the knife. Din was thinking about a plan. If he fought back, Fury would believe Loki’s words even more.

“Please ask the Avengers about this. I’m innocent and they can prove it.” Din didn’t want to get separated from Grogu again.

“Of course! They will say exactly what you want them to say. How does your ability work? Is it the helmet?” Fury asked and chained Din’s hands on his back. “Well, S.H.I.E.L.D’s researchers will have plenty of time to find out.”

“I suggest using a tin foil hat,” Loki said and summoned a wrinkly silver paper when Fury wasn’t looking. He gave it to Fury, who looked at it doubtfully, but put it on regardless. It looked surprisingly cool on his bald head.

Din looked at Grogu, whose eyes were staring at him in the shadow of the bag. “I will come back to you.” Then Din lifted his eyes to Loki.

“Next time I won’t be as merciful,” Din said quietly when Fury started dragging him away.

“Maybe there won’t be a next time.” Loki smiled and winked his eye. With Din’s weapons and Grogu he left back to the deck.

Fury called for help. A bunch of agents showed up. Din considered fighting – he still had his flamethrowers and a lot of experience. But he didn’t want to underestimate his enemies or appear hostile.

“Where will you put me?” Din asked with a calm voice.

“We have a jail. It will block any powers you have. Later, we will discuss about a permanent location for you.” Fury led him downstairs.

An agent rushed after them. “The Avengers appear to be leaving. Should we inform them about this?”

Leaving? Were they just leaving without him? Wait, no. It had to be Loki who was trying to steal the Quinjet! Din didn’t have enough time to plan his next move, so he bend over, throwing Fury to the ground. Fury screamed but was back on his feet in no time. The agents started firing. The bullets just bounced off the beskar. Din ran upstairs and out to the deck.

The Quinjet was already humming. Din spotted Loki inside. He couldn’t run inside since the door was already closed, so he jumped right on the window. Loki startled and started pushing buttons faster.

Din’s hands were still behind his back. He managed to release the whistling birds, the small explosives, on the Quinjet. They broke the glass and set the flammable parts on fire. Din hoped Grogu was alright and jumped down into the cabin.

To his surprise, Loki disappeared. He vanished to thin air in a green flash. Din looked through the cabin, seeking for Grogu, but he didn’t find anything. The fire was feeding on the oxygen, so Din jumped back out with a help of a chair.

He inspected his surroundings. Farther on the grey deck he spotted the Avengers. He stood straight and noticed that Loki, impersonating Rogers, was there with them, too. From the other direction came the agents and angered Fury.

He was able to hear Loki’s words when the Avengers approached. “Look! As I said, The Mandalorian was just waiting for a perfect spot to betray us.”

“Mando, what did you do to my poor Quinjet?” Tony yelled.

Din was standing on the top of the ship. The sky was dark blue, and it started raining. The drops fell down his armour as the wind waved his cape. He’s only goal was to get Grogu with him without revealing him to S.H.I.E.L.D.

“What are you waiting for? This was his plan all along. To destroy the new Helicarrier,” Loki shouted. The Avengers were hesitant, not knowing if they should trust Loki.

“The Avengers may still be under mind control,” Fury noted to his agents. “Knock the target unconscious so the control will break.”

“What mind control? And why are you wearing a tin foil hat?” Tony asked Fury.

Fury didn’t have time to answer because one of the agents took out a rocket launcher. The agent loaded it and aimed it at Din.

“There’s no need for violence,” Din said and wanted to raise his hands.

“Nah, you chose violence when you were born,” Fury said. “Launch it.”


	18. Sorry is the hardest word to say

Loki hadn’t guessed Din really would have the balls to take the rocket just like that. He didn’t even flinch. It lobbed Din off from the top of the Quinjet. He flew far away – way too far away. There was no more deck underneath him!

Grogu, who was still on the bag Loki had stolen, screeched. Loki felt Grogu’s magic in the air, but he decided to do it himself. He closed his eyes and stretched his arm. By using the Force, he pulled Din back on the deck. He made a loud clank noise.

The Avengers rushed to him. Loki followed with slow steps as the painkillers had worn off, reminding him of his injury.

“Do not touch him!” Fury commanded the Avengers. “This is an order.”

“He’s possibly dying,” Bruce noted and approached Din anyways.

“Do not touch him. He’s a dangerous enemy.” Fury pointed his gun at the Avengers.

Thor turned to Loki. “Look what you have done. You know Mando is a good man and would never betray us,” he hissed.

“He did it all himself,” Loki answered. But this hasn’t been his intention. He just wanted to have Grogu for a while and make Din eliminate S.H.I.E.L.D. Seriously, Loki hated being at the mercy of the Avengers. Gaining more Jedi powers with Grogu would create an advantage for him. Killing Din was just… an unfortunate side effect.

“Okay listen please! This is a huge misconception. Mando is not an enemy, and we have bigger things to worry about,” Tony raised his voice.

“Yeah, mind controlled Avengers team is the worst of them. Stark, I order you to stay far from him.” Fury’s voice was dead serious.

“Sorry to interrupt, but he’s bleeding. Like a lot,” Bruce said. Blood was flowing from inside the helmet.

Tony sighed. “Alright, Fury. This right here is my employee, and I’m not taking responsibility for his funeral.” He whispered something to Thor, who nodded.

Thor grabbed Din and laid him between his arms. Clint and Natasha drew their weapons and aimed them at the agents.

“I’m sorry, but we can explain this later,” Natasha said as the Avengers started retreating inside the Helicarrier.

“You too, Romanoff? Rogers, do something for god’s sake!” Fury was shocked, probably still believing Loki’s lie about mind control.

Loki could have just tell the truth, but he believed it was too late. And he kind of liked where this was going. The adrenaline bumped in his veins. This was more like it!

He started limping after the Avengers. The agents were hesitant about shooting them. Loki kept his eyes on the enemy. They didn’t fire, probably because they thought he would block the bullets with his shield.

“Where are we going?” Thor asked as they crammed downstairs. This was the way to the laboratories, but instead of going there, Tony took a turn to left.

The alarm system started ringing. Tony hurried and opened a large door just in time before it got locked.

The door led to a big hall. Loki wondered how it even fitted inside the Helicarrier. But this appeared to be a hangar. In the middle of it, bunch of workers in vests were building a ship that looked like a deformed Quinjet.

“Hush hush ants,” Tony drove away the workers and opened the door. They rushed inside.

The ship was really a work-in-process. There was no roof, and Loki was able to see parts of the engine below his feet. Unconnected colourful wires hang out here and there. The cabin was basically a couple of garden chairs and buttons.

“Loki, you’re gonna bring us out of here,” Tony said as Thor put Din down.

“Excuse me, but how?” Loki looked at the ship. Flying with this thing was same as crossing a sea with a wooden raft.

“I don’t know, you’re the wizard here,” Tony answered and started pushing buttons.

Loki felt something struggling against his hips. He realized it was Grogu, who was trying to get off the back. He helped the kid out and watched him ran to his father. After inspecting Din’s unconscious body, Grogu lifted his tiny fingers and closed his eyes.

Soon Din let out a single grunt and sat up. He held his helmet and reached his fingers behind his neck, just to notice they were covered in blood. “Where are we?”

“Soon somewhere safe,” Natasha said and helped Din up to sit on a chair.

Everyone was looking at Loki, expectantly. He let his Captain disguise vanish and closed his eyes. He had never tried to make a portal big enough for a ship like this. But he hadn’t had the Force with him before. It was hovering around everyone in the ship cabin, most strongly in Grogu.

A green sparkling portal opened in front of the ship. But it was just a small one, and Loki felt there was something on the other side, waiting for them. He bit his lip and tried to see further, but a loud clang which the engine let out broke his focus. The portal disappeared.

He inhaled deeply. “I can’t. The ship is too big.”

“Why is it that villains always become weaker when they’re on the heroes’ side?” Tony muttered and went to the controllers. “We’re doing this the old style.”

“I pretend I didn’t hear that,” Loki snorted and crossed his arms.

The ship rose into air. An automatic lid opened above them, and Tony was able to bring them out of the hangar to the free sky. Loki noticed Fury and the agents standing on the deck, watching them leave. He also saw a piece of metal fall off the ship.

“If we have to get rid of extra weight, I suggest throwing Thor,” Loki said and took a seat next to Din. Bruce was checking Din’s wounds – or as much as he could see without removing the helmet. Din seemed to be alright thanks to the Force healing. Loki noted that in his mind. A healing ability would be useful in the future.

Thor snorted as the biggest danger seemed to be over. He pushed Loki’s chest with Mjolnir, making him squeal. “What was that Loki? Why did you once again mess everything up?”

“I mean, I had to get Fury’s attention off me. And I wanted the kid back. So Mando was there perfectly. I didn’t expect him to try to make the agents kill him. Ouch, come on, I’m still convalescent.” Loki raised his hands, and Thor lifted the hammer off.

“I took the rocket to prove my innocence. But instead, you decide to make a showy escape,” Din snarled and wiped his neck with an oily towel Natasha had found. “The protection squad or whatever will never believe the Avengers are not mind controlled.”

Loki noticed Thor’s face started looking more murderous, so he let out a nervous laugh. “Okay, okay. I’m… I’m sorry. But in my defence I was high.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Thor sighed. “Seriously, I was starting to believe what you said earlier. But seems like backstabbing is your only personality trait.”

Loki scratched behind of his ear. “I said what?”

Thor told him about the confession about the New York. “And then you cried like a little baby.”

“Oof. I really did that?” Loki rubbed his chin. This meant he could trust the Avengers, after all. It was embarrassing, but it also felt like a weigh off his shoulders. Now, he had only the whole Midgard, especially S.H.I.E.L.D, and Thanos to hate him. And he had a feeling his father wouldn’t still believe him. If father had turned a deaf ear for his confessions earlier, there was no guarantee he would listen this time.

Thor looked at him seriously and then patted his brother’s shoulder. “I have to apologize too. We didn’t know you were under mind control and mashed you for nothing. But who did it to you?”

Loki’s eyes teared up. He turned his head, not wanting to meet Thor’s gaze. After battling with Thanos every night and day, he didn’t want to bring those memories back. “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

“Well of course it matters! I’m gonna kill that bastard!”

Loki began to feel tired. His head and wound were becoming sore. Thor’s enthusiasm warmed his heart, but he just wanted to be alone for a while. It was raining inside the ship and it made him feel even more miserable.

“Okay good therapy session and all, but is that a fighter plane?” Clint interrupted and pointed the window at the back of the ship. There was a black dot approaching them.

“That’s not the question, it’s whether we will die because of it or not,” Tony said.

Din stood up and snatched his rifle from Loki. “Try to contact it. If there is no response, it won’t be following us for long.”


	19. Mystery lurkers

Din had his eyes on the unknown plane. It wasn’t approaching their ship but followed in a distance.

“This BS Clunker. You’re invading our personal space. Move your ass somewhere else or someone dies,” Tony said to a radio.

“You really named Mando’s ship bullshit clunker…” Natasha said and tried to peek a better look at the plane.

“It stands for battleship,” Tony hushed and then said louder: “Answer or we open fire.”

Din climbed up using bare scaffolding on the walls. After reaching the non-existent roof, he placed the rifle to a right position and looked with the sight.

The destroyer was grey and designed similarly to the Helicarrier. Din guessed it was just a farewell gift from S.H.I.E.L.D. He was ready to fire, although the visibility was bad because of the rain and fog. He waited for an order.

The radio just let out a long rustle. Tony sighed. “Sorry buddy, I don’t trust anyone whose name is bzvzchhsgvhzzds. Mando, the arena is yours.”

Din aimed and shot. The rifle’s power wasn’t enough to make the plane explode, but it started giving off smoke. The pilot, whoever it was, made a wise choice and returned back, vanishing to the clouds.

Din dropped back down and almost crushed Loki. “It retreated. The plane looked similar to the Helicarrier, but I couldn’t see the pilot.”

“Good. Now S.H.I.E.L.D will hate us even more,” Tony said and piloted the ship to the clouds to keep it hidden.

“Better be hated than dead,” Din said. He put his rifle on his back. Then he stood close to Loki, who was chilling on a chair. Din made Loki hand him his weapons back. Loki smiled sorrily. Din would scold him later – now they had to plan their next step.

They flew for a while. The navigator hadn’t been installed yet, so they had no idea where they were. At least there was no sign of other hostile planes. The weather was still stormy but was getting better.

“Who is hungry?” Tony asked.

Everyone raised their hands.

“Okay kids, we stop by the nearest gas station,” Tony said and lowered the ship.

Din looked out of the window and noticed a wide road filled with speeders. Alongside the road there was threshed fields. This was much more rural area than the New York City. Din preferred this. Cities were always full of all kind of nasty people. On the countryside people usually just sticked to vibing and making their living.

Finally, they spotted a gas station. There wasn’t enough parking space though, so Tony just whacked the ship on a field. Din was afraid that would destroy the ship completely, but only a few more metal plates dropped to the ground.

All of them walked down the gangway of the ship, which looked a doomsday machine in the middle of the field. The fog made it look even more ominous.

“Isn’t this… a bit obvious?” Clint asked. He didn’t leave his bow in the ship, neither did Din leave his weapons. Meanwhile Loki was once again completely disarmed. He just groaned in protest but didn’t put up a show.

“Fury will think twice before he tries to challenge all of us. He knows where we are anyways. Now, I wonder what they serve here?” Tony replied and opened the doors of the restaurant.

It seemed like a regular bar without the bar section. The interior decoration was yellowish, worn, and old-fashioned. There was no other customers. Din liked it. He didn’t bother hiding Grogu this time.

The cashier, who was a young lad with freckles, wasn’t as keen to see them. Din didn’t blame him. It was sure odd to see a Mandalorian, two full armed assassins, two gods, and an alien kid together. At least Tony had left his suit home – that probably irritated him – so he looked normal. (Bruce was there too, but he was like an ordinary guy that looked like a lost puppy). The cashier glared at them, but then started smiling.

“Woah, are you Tony Stark? I’m huge fan. Can I get an autograph?” The lad asked, eyes shining.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Tony said and signed the table.

“Really? Out of all of us he wants an autograph from Tony,” Clint whispered to Natasha.

“Kids, think about your orders.” Tony was looking at a scoreboard that showed different meals.

The names nor contents said nothing to Din. “I’ll take anything. Something healthy for Grogu.”

Grogu looked at him angrily and sticked his tongue out.

“Okay, those… ice cream juices for both of us as a desert,” Din muttered. At least Skywalker hadn’t taught Grogu better manners.

“Midgard’s food is so bland…,” Loki complained. “I’ll take the finest meal. And a wine bottle. I can’t tolerate you guys sober.”

“Something from the kid’s menu,” Tony whispered to the cashier who nodded and smiled.

Din left the rest to place their orders in peace. He went to a toilet, which was located at the back of the dinner hall.

The toilet had several blue doors which weren’t open. He appeared be alone, so he took his helmet off. His brown hair was messy and bloody. He washed it with warm water and checked his scalp for any wounds, but Grogu had fixed all of it. A surge of pride filled Din.

Grogu crawled out of his bag, and Din put him down on the sink table. The child opened the sink and started splashing the water with his hands.

“Hey, don’t make a mess,” Din said but couldn’t help smiling. Grogu smiled back and babbled.

“We will be back home soon,” Din said and pet Grogu’s head. He didn’t believe those words himself. Tony’s ship was far from complete. In addition, Din was concerned that it didn’t have a hyperdrive feature. And the ship wasn’t even the biggest problem – it was Loki. He had said the ship was too big for a portal. Din wasn’t sure if he could trust the trickster’s words, but BS Clunker sure was the double of the size of his previous ship. What kind of power would it require to open a big enough hole between the universes?

Din finished cleaning his head so he put the helmet back on and took Grogu. He was about to go back to others, but a voice stopped him. It came from behind one of the doors.

“How much are your services?” a woman asked. Her voice was deep and calm.

“What kind of services?” Din said and hid Grogu inside his bag.

“I’ve seen your kind. I know you’re bounty hunters. How much?”

Okay, this woman dropping a lot of bombs right now. How did she know about the Mandalorians if nobody else here did? Then, Din remembered what Fury had said: someone with a helmet like Din’s had been doing shady stuff. Who could it be? Was there Mandalorians here after all? Or perhaps it was an evil version of Din. Honestly, this all was so crazy he wouldn’t be surprised.

“Who are you after?” Din asked.

The woman chuckled. “The target is easy. Apparently, he has been injured recently. He will be no match for you, even if he calls himself a god.”

Loki. The woman wanted Loki’s head. “If he is so easy, why don’t you take him out yourself?”

“Let’s say, he’s a desired toy for many. Will you accept my deal? Bring him, preferably alive, to a bridge that goes over a river nearby. But only at midnight when it’s dark. Don’t get caught or tell your friends about this.”

Din thought about it. “What will I get from this?”

“Your dearest wish is to get back home. This mud ball is not a suitable place for you or your child. I have the resources to fulfil that wish,” the woman explained. “I empathize that you must work alone. If not, I have the ways to hurt you, too.”

Din snorted. “This seems more like blackmailing than a free choice.”

The woman let out a laugh, but then said with a serious voice: “That’s because it is.”

He wanted to ask more details, but the door leading to the dinner hall banged open.

Loki walked from there with brisk steps.


	20. Being a villain among heroes

“Can you believe this disgrace? First, they don’t let me have a knife to cut my stupid steak, which was a size of a snowflake, by the way. Then Thor throws ice cream at me, because I was ‘acting suspicious’!” Loki whined. A piece of ice cream was melting on his forehead, making his skin turn blue. He opened the tap and washed it off with warm water. The warmth made skin go back to the usual pale tone, but it also reminded him of his torturers. What would be better than teasing an ice giant with fire?

“So, is the food is ready?” Din asked.

“Yeah, if you can call that food. I’m going to eat Thor’s dish next, it looked a lot better,” Loki muttered and wiped his forehead with a paper towel. “I guess you will eat here. A suitable place to have dinner for a rat like you.”

“Politeness costs nothing,” Din said and scratched dirt off his helmet.

“I can ask the waiter to bring your meal here if that makes it better, your rat highness.” Loki was about to leave, but Din stopped him.

“Hey. Do you realize that you are not exactly on my good list right now,” Din said with a serious voice tone.

“What are you, Santa Claus? I saved your life at the Helicarrier. I think that makes me a good kid.” Loki imagined Din in a red suit and white beard. Midgardian holidays were odd, but Loki kind of liked the idea of Santa Claus. Not if it was Din, though.

“You saved my life after endangering my life? How friendly.”

“Come on, we both have taken an explosive to our faces lately. Let’s not fight over peanuts. Don’t you appreciate life more after almost losing it?” Loki didn’t really care about being Din’s friend, but the list of possible murderers had been growing lately at an alerting rate. Better not make it longer.

“I’d appreciate my life more if you stopped existing,” Din said.

Loki forced a smile on his face. Okay, he had clearly crossed a line somewhere and Din had joined the murderer section. “I’ll let you eat in peace.” He left the toilet and returned to the Avengers.

The Avengers had claimed a large table with enough chairs for all of them. They were still eating, and Loki asked the waiter to bring the food to Din. Then he sounded Thor’s plate, which was already half-eaten. He snatched some with his fork.

“Hey, didn’t the ice cream teach you anything?” Thor yelped.

“If you’re going to starve me, do it properly,” Loki muttered and crammed the food to his mouth.

Tony clanged his glass of water to get everyone’s attention. “So, the situation. S.H.I.E.L.D thinks we’re all mind controlled by the one who eats only in toilets. How are we gonna prove the truth?”

“Give them Loki as a present,” Clint suggested.

Loki crossed his arms. “Try it.”

Clint was already standing up and was about to hit Loki, but Thor stopped him.

“Remember Loki is innocent, at least partly. He doesn’t deserve to be locked up here in Midgard.”

Ah, brother. Standing up for the weaklings, such a heroic thing to do. Loki had mixed feelings about that. At least there was still one person who kind of liked him.

“The cells of Asgard are comfier anyways,” Thor continued.

Nevermind, Loki thought. No allies.

Natasha had finished her meal already and was putting salt in Clint’s coffee when he wasn’t looking. “How about the Tesseract? I know you didn’t have time to finish the scan, but it showed traces of gamma radiation, right?” she said. Clint drank the coffee and spat it out. He looked at Loki, but Loki shook his head lightly.

“Oh yes! It is possible that the Tesseract is on Earth. If we find it and bring it as a peace offering, I’m sure Fury will listen,” Bruce replied and cranked a french fry in a cup of ketchup. “We just don’t know who has it.”

“It’s the same person who killed the guards back in Asgard. The killer is able to mislead Heimdall’s vision, too. That means they are some sort of a witch,” Thor rehearsed and looked at Loki.

“Hey, I don’t know all the witches in the world,” Loki snorted. He had no idea who could it be. The only thing he was sure about was that he wouldn’t let it slip. First killing his people and then stealing _his_ Tesseract? Enough reasons for a public execution. “It doesn’t matter who has it. Just find it and get it. Or are the Avengers too cowardly to do so?”

“We just don’t go on a killing spree to get what we want,” Tony noted. “If you want to team with us, you gotta play by the rules.” Loki rolled his eyes, as if the Avengers were some sort of saints.

Din had finished his dinner and came to the table. He dragged an extra seat from another table. “What did I miss?”

Clint explained their plan to retrieve the Tesseract. Din nodded. “That’s a good idea. But without clues, there’s no way we will find it.”

“Let’s steal the Helicarrier to continue that dumb scan or something,” Loki suggested but got turned down with a few murderous gazes. “I hate this. Damn democracy and heroism makes everything so slow. Better book a hotel or something so at least I could enjoy my time while you do the hero stuff.”

To Loki’s surprise, Tony sighed and got up. He went to the cashier and asked him about something. Then he came back and clapped his hands together. “Alright, there is a couple of rental cottages nearby. We can stay there for this night.”

The team agreed that it was a better option than continuing their journey with no clear aim. They left the gas station – and left the messy table for the poor lad to clean.

The cottages weren’t too far away, so instead of using the half-broken ship, they walked. It wasn’t raining as much as before, and Loki guessed it was because of Thor who wanted to make the walk more pleasant. Loki was enjoying the rural view, open fields, and spots of looming forests. There wasn’t many houses in sight, so it was a great place for them.

They crossed an old stone bridge. A river beneath it was burbling loudly. Loki noticed that Din was looking at the surroundings closely. Maybe the thought of sleeping withing the forest made him nervous.

The road became muddy and the field changed to a spruce forest. Finally, they reached the cottage. It was large, old, and made of wood. Loki liked the aesthetic, since it reminded him of the North where people had used to worship the Norse gods.

Tony opened the door with a key he had got from the cashier. When they were going inside, Loki heard a loud crack from the canopies of the trees. He thought he saw a flash of grey, but then a crow flew from there. Loki took a deep breath and relaxed his muscles. He doubted it was one of Odin’s crows. Even if the Avengers hated him, they wouldn’t let anyone take him, so he could drop his paranoia.

Loki wasn’t feeling like hanging out with the others, so he claimed one room on the first floor and slammed the door close. The room was simple: just one bed, pale-yellow walls, and a nightstand. He dropped on the bed and closed his eyes. His head felt so heavy.

The rest was much needed. Especially considering what kind of shit would happen the following night.


	21. Truth or dare

It was still too early to go to bed, so Tony decided to cheer up the crew. Din was glad, because that gave him some time to think about his next step. And Grogu was happy for any kind of activity.

“So, here we are, in a cabin middle of the forest. To make our teenage horror movie experience better, we’re going to play truth or dare!” Tony smiled and spread his hands.

“He’s still mad that he left his suit in the Avengers Tower,” Clint whispered to Din. “Usually he doesn’t have this stupid ideas. I’ve always suspected that J.A.R.V.I.S actually does all the thinking, and I think this proves it.”

“What is truth or dare?” Din asked and sat down in the ring that they formed on a fluffy carpet. The cottage’s rooms were cozy, but the living room was the best. Big carpet, fireplace, a couple of soft sofas. Din wasn’t used to this kind of luxury, but he guessed it was a nice change. At least Grogu was happy; he was jumping on the sofa and trying to create a floating pillow ship.

“It’s a game where you either answer a question truthfully or complete a task,” Natasha explained while searching something from a dresser, but it appeared to be empty.

“Sounds more like imperial interrogation,” Din muttered. He was not excited to share anything about himself.

“Hey, we’re not going to dig up traumas or anything,” Tony defended. “Or crimes.”

Din sighed. “There’s nothing else in my past than traumas and crimes. Case closed.”

“I see you’ve already adopted the right angsty teen attitude. Now we only wait for the mass murderer that lives in the woods. In the meantime, we can compare who has the most fucked up history,” Tony said.

Thor clapped his hands. “This will be great! I’ll get my brother’s dramatic ass over here.” He left and came back, dragging Loki by his cape. Loki was trying to get free but couldn’t help it. He had to settle down in the ring.

Din wasn’t pleased. It was hard to plan a kidnapping when the target sat in front of you. He wondered who the woman in the toilet had been and what she wanted of Loki. To be honest, Din didn’t care about Loki’s fate, but what would the Avengers think? Especially Thor.

Natasha had found an empty bottle from the fridge – there was some food in there, too – and spun it in the middle of the players. Tony had wired a bunch of stereos and started blasting bad old pop songs. The cap of the bottle pointed at Thor.

“Truth or dare?” Natasha asked.

“Let’s start with a truth!”

“Which player would die first in an apocalypse?”

Thor rubbed his beard. “The cause would be Loki, of course, so I think he wouldn’t die.”

“Don’t give me ideas,” Loki noted. He seemed to be already planning an apocalypse.

“But I think it would be you or Clint. Sorry, but you’re no match for us,” Thor said and made Natasha frown. Clint yelped, offended.

“I would use you as a human shield without hesitation,” Natasha said. “Or emergency food.”

Clint nodded. “If it were zombies, I think they would go after big brainers like Tony or Bruce first. While they chase their juicy brains, we will fly to The Bahamas. Zombies can’t swim anyways.”

“Good luck biting through my armour,” Tony said. “You will need that when you get turned first. His mind is rotting already, beware everyone!”

Din didn’t know what zombies were, but he doubted they were anything dangerous. People of Earth hadn’t encountered Dark Troopers yet, so maybe brain-eaters were the most dangerous thing to exist.

“I think this ends up as a tie,” Natasha said. Thor spun the bottle again, and it spun like a superfast wheel. Soon, it pointed at Grogu.

“If the little thing can answer, truth or dare?”

Grogu cooed. Din shrugged. “Let’s say it’s a dare.”

“Well, I think spinning this bottle is big enough task for him. Come on, you can do it!” Thor encouraged.

Grogu was sitting on a pillow next to Din but didn’t move at all. Instead, he raised his hand and the bottle took a flip in the air. Everyone were amazed (except Loki, but Din saw that he was smiling a bit). This time it was Bruce’s turn.

“What is it with wizards? Always having to show off their skills,” Tony muttered.

“Truth, please,” Bruce asked.

Grogu didn’t say anything, of course, so Tony helped. “Alright, I’ve always wanted to ask this. Have you ever turned green while-“

“No, I haven’t. It’s not that every other person, who is as shameless as you, has asked that,” Bruce snorted and spun the bottle. It was Din’s turn.

“Dare,” Din said. He didn’t want to share anything, so doing a little trick was bearable.

“Do something that only a Mandalorian would do.”

Din sighed and thought about it. There wasn’t many things that would scream Mandalorian otherwise than his whole existence. “I’m doing it right now.”

Tony’s jaw dropped dramatically. “Wow, so Mandalorians breathe differently? Do you hold it like a bit to reduce your lifetime? Or do you hyperventilate to catch every smell?”

“This is the way.” Din sneered and spun the bottle, and of course it pointed at Loki.

“Loki wants a truth. I want to hear an honest word from him. It would be the first time ever,” Thor interposed. Loki sighed but nodded.

What would Din ask? It was awkward to ask silly questions from a person you were about to sell to an unknown threatener. “Do you know any women except Natasha?”

Loki was speechless. He blinked his eyes. “Is this a weird way to map out possible competitors?” he then said and winked.

“Dank farrik, no. Answer the question.”

“I will, but I can’t name them all. If you want to know how many women I have slept with-“

“We don’t want to know, Loki,” Thor interrupted.

“Yeah, because it’s more than you have. And I’m not even including men-“

“Is there any women who would possibly want to kill you?” Din specified. This way he could learn who his client was. Or if it were someone who would kill Loki.

“Mm, there is many. Natasha, of course”, Loki said and bowed his head towards Natasha. “I’m not sure about Asgardians, though.”

“I talked with Sif and she was very eager to kill you,” Thor noted.

“Ahh, she too?” Loki said, acting disappointed. He spun the bottle again.

Din wasn’t focusing on who was the next one. Who could this Sif be? Din had no idea what Asgardians were like. Maybe giving Loki to the nation he belonged to wasn’t too bad. He nodded slightly while thinking. When everyone would be asleep, he would simply get Loki and bring him to the bridge.

The game went on, they had a good time until Clint got too annoyed with Loki and challenged him to a fist fight. The fight was impressive, but when Loki’s nose started to bleed, they stopped. Tony called it a day and they split up to their own rooms.

Din waited awake for a while to listen. It had started raining more heavily, and the drops drummed the roof. Besides that and Grogu’s snoring, there was no other sounds. Quietly, he opened the door. It creaked and Din gnashed his teeth. With light steps, he walked to Loki’s room and opened the wooden door.

Loki was mumbling in his dream. It seemed like he was having nightmares, since he strangled his blanket like a giant snake. Din approached. He had a gag made out of a towel in his hands.

Then, like a tiger, he attacked. He crammed the cloth into Loki’s mouth and held him against the bed. Loki’s eyes flashed open. He tried to fight against him, but Din had the high ground and was able to cuff Loki’s hands together. Loki struggled more and tried to kick Din but missed.

Din started dragging Loki away. But then he heard a sound. The front door was opened and closed, quietly. Loki’s room had a direct view to the hallway. A tall dark figure was standing there . The silhouette clicked the lights on.

“Did I interrupt something?” asked the man. He was holding a large shield with a white star in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, good to see you're still sticking with me :D This story is becoming a way longer than I planned, but I'm still excited to write more! Don't worry if updates take a bit longer (I still aim for a chapter every other day), I won't abandon this story (even though if that means writing only for myself, lol). I just have other projects and studies to tackle.
> 
> And yes, seems like Cap has finally got enough sleep, maybe like over 10 chapters? Well, that's nothing after seventy years.


	22. Skirmish in the rain

Din inhaled deeply and calmed himself. He could make it out of that door without too much mess.

“I was just taking out the trash,” Din said and tried to pull the blanket out of Loki’s hands but he held it tight. Instead, Din decided to create a Loki burrito and rolled him inside the blanket. “You’re kinda standing on our way.”

Captain seemed to be confused about this sight. He sighed and leaned against the door frame. “Alright. Let’s get this straight. I was told you are keeping the Avengers in your control, and I also know someone was impersonating me at the Helicarrier. Loki explains the last one, but who exactly are you?”

Din sighed. “I don’t have time for this. I need to get the package delivered.”

Rogers stood broader. “You have to get that cleared through customs, first.”

“One Loki, nothing else. I believe it’s duty-free,” Din said and drew his weapon. “I don’t want to wake up half of the house, so get out of my way.”

“So, you really are a violent kind. First, Fury told me about his encounters with you, then you almost shot me from the sky, and now this.”

The fighter plane pilot had been Rogers, then. Din had to admit that it wasn’t the best first impression. But seriously, he had to hurry. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Let me go, and I promise I won’t bother any of you anymore.”

“Where are the others? Did you mail them somewhere, too?” Rogers asked.

“Sleeping. And no, I didn’t drug them,” Din replied and punched Loki who was still fighting back. Loki yelped and stopped struggling. Din knew things were looking really bad on his side, but it wouldn’t matter when he was out of here. Grogu was sleeping inside his bag, there was nothing that would keep him on Earth anymore. “Or force them to sleep. The whole mind control thing was this bastard’s idea. Seriously, you will all be grateful once he and I leave this place.”

“Alright, then. Tony, Nat, anybody?” Steve yelled. Din knew he had to move quickly now. This was his only chance.

Din ran towards Steve and tried to knock him down, but Steve blocked the punch with his shield. The power of his hit waved back to Din’s body. Ouch. That shield was tough.

They brawled, but Steve was fast and persistent. When his shield scratched Din’s chest plate and left a mark, Din knew he couldn’t win Steve in a fistfight. Whatever that shield was made of, it was capable of destroying beskar.

“Grogu, do something,” Din said and woke his child up. Grogu blinked his eyes and peeked outside the bag. “Keep Loki close! He’s trying to worm away.” Loki was trying to free himself, but for once Grogu did what Din wanted and caught Loki with the Force.

Din drew his vibro-knife and stabbed it blindly while shooting the lamp broken. The darkness hid him and confused Rogers. Din heard the doors open and the Avengers yelling. This wasn’t going well at all.

Apparently, the knife had found a good spot, since Rogers grunted and let Din go for a second. Without checking the chaos he had left behind, Din ran out of the door.

It really was a downpour. Din had to put on his helmet’s light to see something. His boots squelch against the mud. He reached floating Loki and positioned him on his both arms like a princess. Loki frowned and looked at Din with a gaze that said: _oh boy, you’re gonna regret this._

Din wasn’t going to regret anything. He knew that the choice had been between leaving the Earth or gaining a new enemy. The first one was better, that was not even a question. Of course, Din would miss his new friends, but this all was a long side quest and it was time to finally complete the main one.

Din checked his back for any traces of followers. The Avengers were going after him but were far away. He hurried and finally got to the bridge.

In the middle of the bridge, there was a tall woman holding an umbrella. She was watching the river but turned her head to Din when he approached. Loki kicked the blanket off and tried to mumble something when he saw the woman. Din saw fear in his eyes.

Din doubted this was an Asgardian. The woman had blue skin with metal parts. Her eyes were black like Grogu’s. They were looking at Din approbatively. “You’re late, but I’ll allow that.”

“We need to hurry. They are following me,” Din said.

“What? I expected better from you, bounty hunter,” the woman hissed. “Our ride isn’t here yet because of this damn weather. We have to hide or fight.

There was no hiding spots. The foggy fields were open, and the forests too far away. “I don’t want to hurt them,” Din said when he heard Tony’s yells.

The woman snorted. “You do what I say, or you can forget your way home.”

“Our contract didn’t have anything about this. I delivered Loki here, now I want the payment,” Din said but he knew it was no use. If the “ride” were not here, it wouldn’t be there soon. He didn’t trust this woman, and she obviously didn’t trust him. So, why not to fulfil those expectations.

Din drew his blaster and pointed it at the woman’s head. “I may be a bounty hunter, but I’m not a slave. You are coming with me.”

The woman smirked. “That’s something you shouldn’t have done.”

She drew one electric baton, which was sparkling in the rain. She slammed her umbrella at Din, blocking his vision for a second. While Din threw it away, she had already grabbed Loki. Loki mumbled and tried to kick her. She hit Loki with her electroshock baton and made him scream against his gag.

The Avengers had arrived. “Everyone put your weapons down!” Steve shouted. Clint was aiming his bow at them, Natasha her pistols.

“Ah, your pathetic friends,” the woman spat out and held her weapon against Loki’s throat. “Do not step closer, or he will die.”

“It’s not a very big loss, Mrs. Blue Sky,” Tony shouted. “Can’t we just go inside and talk about this? I think we will drown here!”

Din noticed that Mrs. Blue Sky didn’t like the rain either. She was partly droid, after all.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Leave while you can. And the name is Nebula,” she threatened.

“Oh yeah? Then eat this,” Thor shouted and threw his hammer. Unfortunately, Din was standing on the way and got punched on his stomach. He flew over Nebula and landed on the other side of the bridge. The hammer nailed him against the stone surface.

“Sorry Mando! But you’ve been a naughty boy so you kind of deserved that,” Thor said.

Nebula noticed that her lightning sticks weren’t a match for a god of thunder. She shoved her weapon at Loki. Loki squinted his eyes in pain. Nebula threw him off the bridge. Thor yelled and went after him. Nebula started backing off.

Din was struggling under the hammer. He couldn’t lift it. It was heavier than a mudhorn. All he could do was to check that Grogu was still alright. The child crawled out of the bag and sniffed the humid air but seemed unharmed.

Nebula did a forward roll and grabbed Grogu. Grogu cried out in surprise. Din couldn’t do anything, the hammer kept him on the ground. He tried to tackle Nebula when she ran past him but wasn’t able to reach her legs.

Tony ran to Din. “Hey, are you alright there buddy? Or have you lost your mind? What the hell was this about?”

“Go after her, dumbass!” Din fizzled under the hammer’s weight. “I’ll explain later.”

“Better be a damn good explanation,” Tony said.

Clint tried to shoot Nebula but stopped when he realized she was using Grogu as a shield. Steve ran after her, and he ran _fast_ , eventually reaching her. Din heard their fighting as the hammer flew off him. Thor jumped out of the water, empty handed. The hammer landed on his hand.

Thor’s wet hair was stuck on his cheeks. He huffed. “The water is too muddy – I couldn’t see Loki anywhere.”

Din got up and leaned against the railing of the bridge. The river was bustling and flooding. The flow had probably carried Loki far away already.

“It is your fault if he drowns,” Thor said with a stormy voice. That gave Din goose bumps. He hadn’t seen this part of Thor yet – and he wasn’t eager to learn more about it.

Then Din remembered Grogu and turned to look at the fight. Rogers was lying on the ground. Din sprinted to him. Rogers sat up and shook his head. Din offered his hand to help him get up but Rogers didn’t accept it.

“Where did she go?” Din asked, scared to hear the answer.

Rogers sighed. “I don’t know. Those electric weapons were just too much for my old heart,” he said and grunted while getting up. He glanced at Din and clenched his fists.

The other Avengers ran to them. They were all looking at Din like he was a murderer – and perhaps he was. But that wasn’t the worst, he could explain it all. There was one worse thing, and it was his greatest fear.

He had lost Grogu again.


	23. Explanations

The Avengers tried to look for Loki, but it was too dark. Bruce almost slid to the river when a riverbank broke under his feet. Fortunately, Din was able to grab him just in time. After that they decided to continue the search after getting flashlights.

They walked back to the cabin without exchanging a word. Din felt accusatory eyes burning his back. What had he done? He had been so stupid.

When the door closed behind them, Thor shoved Din against the wall. His face was close to Din’s, and for a second Din wasn’t sure if Thor was going to kiss him or eat him alive. The latter was closer.

“You tricked all of to believe you were on our side. Was this your plan all along?” Thor growled.

Din grinned his teeth and tried to keep his cool. “We made a deal. She offered to take me home if I took Loki to her. We met at the gas station, and I thought she was an Asgardian.”

“Well, I don’t know who she was but definitely not Asgardian. We don’t use filthy bounty hunters to achieve our goals.”

“But how about our deal? Wasn’t our spaceship enough?” Tony asked, offended.

Din sighed. “To be honest, that thing wouldn’t survive in space. And I happen to live in another universe, if you remember. Loki wasn’t powerful enough to get us home. I need all the help I can get.”

Thor pushed Din harder against the wall, making it hard to breathe. But Rogers touched Thor’s shoulder. “Let’s sit down and talk. I have got information that may change something,” he said.

“Good to have you back, Steve,” Natasha said and smiled. “It’s been a hard time keeping these idiots out of trouble.”

Thor let Din go, and they all moved to the living room.

This room had appeared comfortable earlier but now it was like a courtroom to Din. Clint had found some firewood, so he lit up the fireplace. The fire blazed and helped bit with the coldness inside Din.

They sat in a ring. Natasha gave everyone a couple of towels to dry themselves and asked Steve to start.

“Alright. I see now that you are not under mind control,” Steve began his story. “So I can trust you with this. I came here without Fury’s permission as he was scared that I would get caught, too.”

“Now Fury will think you’re under control too, though,” Tony noted.

“Mm, right,” Steve said and knotted his brows. “But we will figure it out.”

“All of this because of Loki’s stupid lie,” Clint said and rubbed his face.

“Don’t talk about Loki like that,” Thor snarled.

“Face the facts, man. We’re not going to talk about him sweetly only because he may be dead.”

“We will get to Loki later,” Natasha cooled the smouldering fight.

“Anyways, S.H.I.E.L.D had spotted odd movements in the New York City. There had been sightings of a man wearing a helmet like that,” Steve said and pointed at Din, “A witness told that the man had been searching for something and was seeking help from fellow criminals.”

Hmm, sounded pretty Mandalorian to Din. But why and who?

“Fury asked me to track down that person,” Steve continued. “I had his cape in my hands but still he ran away. Then Fury called me and told about your little visit on the Helicarrier. Rest you know, except the fact that I almost died because you shot my plane.”

“I just protected us,” Din said. “You didn’t answer anything to our calls.”

“The radio was broken,” Steve sighed and looked at Din. “Then we get to you. I’m Steve Rogers. You’re apparently a guest from space. You know, you have an uncanny resemblance to my target.”

“What colour was his helmet?” Din asked. He didn’t like the idea of a Mandalorian doing bad things on Earth. Although, he himself hadn’t been an exemplary guest.

“It was too dark. That bastard knew how to keep his enemies far. Other criminals watched his back. Really, it was painful to clear through those alleys.”

Din crossed his arms. It could be just a coincidence – maybe he had accidentally started a new trend when he had arrived. The thought of factories making cheap copies of helmets gave him creeps. Or Loki hadn’t told him about all the portals he had created. There was still too many loose ends in this. “I don’t know who it could be. The only thing I’m sure about is that I want to talk to them. Even if it’s just some clown who digs helmets.”

Tony told Steve the updates about Loki and the Tesseract – which made Steve let out a long sigh. “The Tesseract is our main priority right now. But I feel like Loki could be involved in all of this, so we gotta find him first.”

“Finally, some real talk,” Thor said and got up first.

“It’s better if we split up. Me, Bruce, and Clint will go to the ship and try searching in the air. The ship has a spotlight, so we can search the forests. Steve, Natasha, Mando and Thor will search on the ground,” Tony suggested. The team agreed and started preparing the operation by searching flashlights.

“Please try looking for Nebula or my child, too,” Din pleaded. His stomach felt hollow. Last time Grogu had been lucky with Loki. Nebula could be far more ruthless.

“We will,” Bruce promised and patted Din’s shoulder. Bruce had stayed neutral on this case, and Din was relieved.

“And if I hear this turncoat making any more mess, I will personally adopt the kid and name him Tony Stark Jr,” Tony said and did “I’m watching you” gesture at Din.

So this is how it was like to be Loki. Din wasn’t a fan of being mistrusted but he guessed he deserved it. Somehow, he would gain the trust back.

After collecting supplies and flashlights they could find, they left to the rain. Thor spread his hands and tried to stop the rain. Apparently, he was too upset and created a thunderstorm instead. The lightning lit up the sky.

“Thank you, Thor, for this,” Natasha said and pulled her coat’s collar up. She put her umbrella down. “Isn’t this kind of dangerous? Like we got a walking lightning conductor here.”

Thor snorted and said nothing. Din felt a bit unsafe when a lightning stroke a nearby tree, tearing it to half. He wasn’t sure how would beskar react with electricity.

They started walking along the river and shouting Loki’s name. Din watched the dark water. Hopefully, Loki knew how to swim and hold his breath for a long time.

After a while Natasha ran to him. Her face was panicky. “Tony just called me via my ear bud. He told that someone has broken into the ship!”


	24. Don't go in the woods

Loki held his breath. The waves hit his body against rocks. All he saw was dark, cold water with a few bubbles here and there. Was this how he would die? In a stupid Midgardian river? He imagined how his body would be found: “Local farmer finds a dead god – poor think drowned like a rat!”

No, he had to do something. He closed his eyes which were smarting from the dirty water. The Force was vague in the river. It circled around the small beings, water striders and even some fish. With the last oxygen he had, Loki focused his powers to escape from the lap of death.

The Force knocked Loki up and made him fly on a near sandbank. The collision spurted water out of his mouth. Loki rolled on his knees. He tried to remove the gag and cuffs but the knots were too tight. Stupid bastard Din knew how to do his job. As his vision went dark, he thought he would suffocate. But then a hand – hopefully, a hand – grabbed the gag from behind and cut it off.

Loki turned his head to look who the saviour was. The sight shocked him. It was not Din but somebody with a similar helmet, green and red. Then Loki remembered he was about to choke and started coughing up the water. It felt like his whole chest was about to explode since the wound hadn’t still healed fully – but the beskar inside him kept everything in place. Well, even if Din had almost got him killed, he had also been generous for once.

“You saved me. Why?” Loki asked and let the stranger cut his cuffs off. Loki was free but also felt very, very miserable. The lamp of the stranger’s helmet hurt his eyes.

“I like to decide myself whether someone should live or die,” the man said. His voice was raspy, older than Din’s. Loki glanced his weapons – yep, this dude was part of the same clan as Din.

Loki pressed water out of his hair although it didn’t help in this rain. Farther away there was even lightning. It had to be his brother’s anger. Or was he mourning? “I’m Loki. Who are you?”

“Boba Fett. What are you doing out here?” Boba asked and helped Loki up. The grip was firm.

“Just having a refreshing swim in the moonlight,” Loki said. He took a step back from Boba. The forest was restless around them, moving like a big dark creature. It casted menacing shadows on Boba’s armour. “How about you?”

“Hunting innocent souls, of course,” Boba said and started walking away. Loki followed but kept a distance. If Boba were anything like Din, Loki could expect anything.

“Well, it sure is very atmospheric for that. Have you got any? It’s been a while since my last meal,” Loki replied.

“Their innocence is a complicated topic. I’ve got some food, though,” Boba said and lead Loki to a small meadow. In the middle of it, there was a pile of ash and Boba’s stuff, bags, and boxes. Boba sought a piece of meat from his backpack and then lit up the fire again. The fire popped in the rain, so Loki created a small force shield upon it.

Boba sat down on a log and looked at the fire. “So, you’re a Jedi?”

“Depends on what a Jedi is,” Loki replied and bit the tough meat. It tasted salty.

“They know how to use the Force. Honestly, I’m not a big fan of them. They think they’re the peacekeepers of the galaxy.”

Loki choked on his food. “Peace and I have never fit together. But recently, I have been able to feel this Force.”

“Maybe that makes you a Sith then,” Boba said. Loki noticed he was thinking about something. Then Boba continued: “But their glory is gone. Doesn’t make a big difference, good or bad, all dead.”

“You’re from another universe, right?” Loki tried to make Boba tell more. Had Loki brought him here too? Man, that universe had to be filled with these metalheads.

Boba nodded. “I’m here for business.”

Loki noticed that Boba wasn’t telling something. It was obvious that Boba knew who Loki was. Loki hoped this “business” was related to Din and not him. “I’m something of a businessman myself. Would you like me to assist?”

“Helping me isn’t your choice. I take what I want,” Boba grunted.

“Oh, so you’re a that sort of guy…” Loki said quietly. Bad experiences with such people. “Do you need help or not?”

“Maybe.”

Oh, come on. Loki wasn’t sure if Boba wanted to grill him on the fire or help him. “I know a Mandalorian like you. I can take you to him if you want.”

Boba stayed quiet for a while. “Later, yes. But there’s something else that needs my attention.”

“You know, you don’t have act like mysterious, tragic hero just because we are in the middle of a forest.”

Boba drew his blaster quickly and shot a tree behind Loki. The laser touched lightly Loki’s hair and burnt it. Loki laughed nervously. “Which part of that was offensive?”

Boba snorted. “I’m not a hero. I’m just a simple man.”

Loki nodded and pursed his lips. “Well then. I’ll let you live your caveman life in peace here. My friends must be waiting for me already.” Loki was looking for a path that would lead him back to upriver to the bridge. He doubted that his “friends” were waiting for him, though.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Boba said.

A lightning bolt struck on a tall spruce tree, lighting up the sky. Loki thought he heard his brother call his name but it was probably the wind.

“And why is that?” Loki let the Force shield vanish. The rain smothered the fire, causing it to smoke, and hid Boba from Loki’s sight. Loki took a few steps back, careful not to trip on any branches or stones. Blood was rushing on his ears when he summoned a dagger.

“Are you bringing a knife in a gun fight?” Boba laughed.

“Wait, you can see me?” Loki said, surprised.

“What kind of hunter doesn’t see in the night?”

“Fair enough,” Loki muttered and created illusion copies of himself. He made them all point at Boba with their knives while he himself backed off.

Boba sighed. “You’re making things just worse for yourself.”

“I’m just attached to my freedom.”

“Look, I’m not going to put you on a leash,” Boba said tiredly and spread his hands. “Just sit down.”

Loki wasn’t going to sit down. He wouldn’t bow to anyone, he wouldn’t take orders anymore. He started running away. Now he heard Thor’s voice from the wind. That guided Loki along the river – Loki stayed far though, he didn’t want to have another bath. The ground was muddy and sucking his boots.

Boba went after him. His steps and sounds of breaking branches made Loki’s heart beat faster. Loki wished he would have his lightsabers with him, to light up the surroundings and protect him from lasers. Now he had just a butter knife. To Loki’s fortune, Boba’s gear was fairly heavy, so it slowed him down.

Then the sounds stopped. Loki listened while hiding behind a tree. Had Boba given up? A bit disappointing.

Loki swallowed and calmed his breathing down. The danger was over. He would return to the cabin immediately and tell Din about Boba. They could have a family reunion or whatever. If Loki were lucky, they would fight and kill each other. Meanwhile Loki would back his bags and leave. No more tossing around by the Avengers.

The rain was fading, too, making the journey more pleasant. A couple of stars were glimmering between the black clouds.

Wait. Those weren’t stars.

It was too late. Boba dropped from the sky and kicked Loki’s face, knocking him unconscious.


	25. Deal with the devil

“Tony, can you hear me?” Natasha asked as Din, Steve and she ran towards the gas station. Thor had continued the search alone.

Natasha cursed. “He is not answering.”

“I bet it’s Nebula,” Din said. They should have known that letting Nebula go was a bad idea. On the other hand, Grogu could be on the ship, too. The thought made Din ran faster. Steve was holding back to not get separated from them.

The dark silhouette of the ship came into view. They slowed their steps. Din took his blaster and sneaked closer. The gangway was down but the lights were out. With his helmet, Din was able to see five heat figures inside. It was quiet – no sounds of fighting.

Then, the door of the ship started closing. Din was closest to it, so he managed to jump inside before it closed.

To Din’s surprise, Nebula clicked the lights on immediately. On her both hands there were her electroshock batons. Tony, Clint, and Bruce were neatly tied up on the seats on the ship’s left side. Din didn’t see Grogu anywhere.

“You’ve been productive,” Din said.

Nebula smiled. “It’s nothing to tie up bunch of idiots. Who steps into an unguarded ship without a minesweeper?”

“Clint was our minesweeper,” Tony noted. “He just mistook a stun bomb as electronics.”

“It’s not my fault it looked like everything else here. Next time build an uncluttered ship,” Clint snapped.

“Hey, it’s a miracle BS Clunker even flies,” Bruce said. Din hoped he would turn into Hulk, saving him from the fight, but he seemed calm and collected.

“Where is the kid?” Din asked. His stomach felt nauseous. Was Grogu alright?

“So far in a safe place. The toddler is feistier than he looks,” Nebula said and narrowed her eyes. “A perfect addition to my father’s troops.”

“No. I will not let anyone take him,” Din said and clenched his fists. “Tell me where he is or-“

“I actually have an offering,” Nebula interrupted.

Din let out a laugh. “I will not do any sort of agreements with you.”

“Then you won’t leave this ship alive,” Nebula hissed and took a step closer.

Tony was trying to message Din something with eyes. It went something like _yikes, don’t get us all killed now._ Mm, it seemed like Din should play along, at least for a while. He had to learn where Grogu was. “Alright, then. Tell me.”

Nebula smiled triumphantly. “This storm destroyed my previous ship and separated me from my servant. You, bloodhound, will find him. For me, it’s better if you kill him and bring his belongings to me.”

“You’re not a very good mistress,” Din muttered. “Fine. Anything else?”

“It’s a plus if you bring me Loki’s body. I cannot go to my father empty handed. And about the servant we’re speaking of – he’s a big fan of yours.”

“A fan of me?” Why would anyone be Din’s fan? His whole life was just problem after problem – and he didn’t make his way out in the most admirable way.

“The Chitauri have their quirks. This individual created a helmet similar to yours. Don’t be fooled – he won’t hesitate to eliminate you. Kill him with your rifle.”

Alright, the mystery of the fake Mandalorian got solved. It was probably Nebula’s servant all along. Well, Din would make it clear that no one disrespected Mandalorians that way. “What about the Avengers?”

Nebula kicked Clint’s foot. “I don’t care about maggots. I’ll take this travesty of a ship and your friends will be free. Even the ones who are fighting Chitauri outside. And I will tell where your kid is. Now, have these last coordinates of my servant and go save your friends while you can.” Nebula gave Din a metal pod which contained the information.

“Don’t stay long, the company is not pleasant,” Tony called out when Din left the ship.

Steve and Natasha were finishing a few Chitauri. A couple already lied on the muddy field.

“Sorry, they kept us busy,” Natasha said and kicked one screaming Chitauri as Steve finished it with his shield. “What happened?”

Din sighed. He knew he was probably a fool. Trusting someone like Nebula was never a good thing. But being used to backstabbing, Din hoped this would end up on his favour. “Clint, Bruce, and Tony are safe but Nebula holds them as hostage. I made a deal with her – she will let them go if I do what she wants.”

“And what did she want?” Steve asked, holding his shield in a strike-ready position.

Din realized Steve was expecting him to attack. He felt bad. “I’ll hunt down a servant of hers. I can do it with no effort but I need you two to stay here. Nebula wants the ship and nothing stops her from flying away. You have to prevent it.”

Natasha nodded but Steve wasn’t convinced. “Why would we let you just leave? To refresh your memories, you stabbed me and got Loki killed because of your own interests. What makes you care about us?”

Din bit his lips. “You’re my friends but Loki wasn’t. He was known from his villainous acts and he almost got me killed, too. Trust me in this. And if you don’t, trust my parental rage.”

The Moon of Earth began to shine as the rain was vanishing, shedding light on Steve’s pale face. He nodded, seriously.

Din didn’t stay to hear any more complaints. He started his hike to the woods.

As he walked, it almost felt like he was all alone again. Fresh, earthly air was quiet, only a distant sound of hooting and few rain drops companied Din. Even if getting into that wormhole – or Loki’s portal – had been an unfortunate event, he had gained a lot. Friends, experiences. But he had caused a lot of suffering, too. Now there was one last kill, one last shot before he would find a way home, with Nebula or without. He would miss his friends, though.

The field turned into a dark forest. Din walked up the hill, he needed a higher position to get this target. Poor thing. What had the servant done to Nebula?

Then Din heard growling behind his back. He turned around and was ready to shoot but then he stopped.

Two Chitauri lurked closer. Their eyes glowed in the dark like beast’s. Instead of attacking, they hissed and kept a distance.

“I guess you’re here to make sure I do the job,” Din snarled and put his blaster back. “Hopefully, you don’t mind I’m going to kill one of your kind.” Of course Nebula wouldn’t let Din act on his own. Clever, to be honest. But two Chitauri wouldn’t be enough to scare Din. Again, come on, everything was pretty lame after dark troopers.

Din continued his journey until he finally saw a flickering light on the valley. The Chitauri made themselves comfortable on the nearby trees. Din took his rifle and started searching for the target.


	26. Ex-antagonist chat

“Good morning,” Boba said as Loki opened his eyes. His eyelids were stuck together but when he tried to rub them, he noticed his hands were chained to a fence. Sun was burning his face and a fly flied past his ear.

“What the hell? How long has it been? Where are we?” Loki asked and looked around. They were sitting on a gravel path. Behind the fence there was a few cows. There was no signs of the last night’s thunderstorm, other than the fact that Loki’s clothes were wet and muddy as if Boba had used him to sweep the road.

“Careful before I knock you out again,” Boba said but not in a menacing way. In fact, he seemed to be as sunny as the weather. He was making food on a portable stove. It looked like weird combination of pancakes and random junk he had found. The smell was delicious, though.

Loki’s head hurt. He made a mental note that said he shouldn’t take Boba’s kick again. “But what is this place?”

“We’re not too far from our original camping place. I just spotted some snoopers and had to move places. By the way, you weight a ton for a bony bitch.”

“That’s a bit rude thing to say,” Loki growled and tried to get free. Why everyone discovered a love for bondage when they met him? Come on, he wasn’t that dangerous. Or maybe he was. At least he wanted to be.

“By the way, who was that hammer guy who was shouting your name?” Boba asked.

“What did you do to him?” Loki asked back. Even though Boba was strong, he wouldn’t win Thor in a fist fight.

“I faked your death, of course. No need to thank me,” Boba said casually and cut a piece of the weird omelette. He took his helmet off, revealing a bald man. Scars across his face made him look older than he was. Being barefaced didn’t seem to be a big deal for him. Loki guessed Din was actually a weirdo even among Mandalorians.

“The hammer guy is my brother,” Loki said and watched an ant steal a piece of Boba’s dish. “How did he react?”

“I’m not into drama so I didn’t bother to look,” Boba said and released Loki’s right hand from the fence, letting him to eat the omelette, too.

Loki snorted. At least Thor wasn’t keeping up that thunderstorm anymore. Well, maybe this was better. He wanted Loki back to Asgard anyways. Loki tasted the omelette, it was surprisingly good, although he wasn’t sure why there was a random grasshopper in it. He picked it up and discovered it was still alive. Disgusted, he let it hop off.

Loki gulped the food down. It helped his dizziness. “So, what are going to do to me?”

Boba finished his food and put his helmet back on. He started cleaning his jetpack. Loki had to remember that it existed to avoid future surprises from the sky. “Well, I think we should train your force skills. You’ll stay with me for a while and I don’t want to take care of you like a baby.”

“I can protect myself well, thank you,” Loki snarled.

“No, you cannot. See, I almost feel bad for you. There are challenges you don’t even know about. You need strength to survive them. Don’t waste your skills.”

“You’re talking as if you knew me,” Loki noted. He tried to stretch but the chain restricted his movements. What challenges was Boba talking about?

Boba didn’t answer that. Instead, he put his helmet’s sight down and stood up to check the environment. Loki sighed and ate until something wet touched his cheek. He turned around. A cow was gaping at him with her dark big eyes.

“Boba help,” Loki yelped as the cow continued to lick his face. Cow’s mouth smelled like melted grass.

“What did I say about protecting yourself? Use your powers, whiny baby.”

Loki ground his teeth and pushed the cow away with the Force. But that brown-white coated bastard walked back. He redid it a couple times but it was no use. He was so angered that he turned his head towards the cow. “Listen here you little shit. Back off or –“

“Good start but wave your hand, too,” Boba said without looking at Loki. “Then say what you want.”

“Wave my hand? I thought the plan was to drive it away, not greet it like a friend,” Loki muttered but tried anyways. “Now, you leave me alone.”

To Loki’s surprise, the cow mooed and sauntered away. Wow! Was this what the Force was really capable of? Mind control without the Scepter? This was glorious. Now he had to only –

“Don’t even think about it,” Boba warned. “I doubt it will work on everyone. I’ll wring your neck if you try it on me.”

Loki smiled sweetly. “Of course not. Why would I ever do that?”

For real, staying with Boba wasn’t a bad idea. As long as Boba wasn’t planning to kill him, he was actually better company than the Avengers or Din. Or the blue girl. Shivers went down Loki’s spine when he thought about her. He had a dim memory of her at Thanos’ place but they had never talked. But she was with Thanos and that was a big nope.

Boba snorted. “I know your tricks, lad.”

“If you knew me, you wouldn’t call me ‘lad’, mortal,” Loki said feebly. Annoying Boba wasn’t as fun as annoying Din. Boba was a potential ally, though, so better play nice.

“God or not, I have encountered far more dangerous people – and creatures than you,” Boba told and sighed, putting his legs in a more comfortable position.

“Well, wouldn’t you tell me about them? We’re camping, so I think stories belong to the packet.” Loki wanted to know more about Boba’s and Din’s home universe. In the end, there was still no promise of a safe place for him. Midgard had S.H.I.E.L.D and Avengers and now even Thanos was heeling him here. And because Loki was apparently dead to Thor, Asgard was not an option.

“These memories aren’t something I would like to recall. But I guess as a Force user you should know. In a galaxy far, far way, there was an Empire,” Boba began. He told about his job as a bounty hunter and the wars between the Jedi and the Sith. At this moment, Boba reminded Loki of Odin and Frigga, who used to tell old legends. Back then Loki had wanted to become one himself – and well, he guessed he had succeeded. Boba snapped his fingers to make Loki refocus and then continued.

“And then I worked for a Sith lord called Darth Vader,” Boba said and stopped for a while.

“Let me guess. He died,” Loki interrupted the silence. The whole Sith thing sounded so cool. Should he try a black cloak next? The green lightsabers – once he would get them back – would look really nice with it. “Because bad guys always do.”

Boba nodded. “But I’ve heard rumours that he actually killed the Emperor himself, saving Skywalker.”

“Hey, you know this story isn’t very supportive for someone who is trying to redeem himself,” Loki complained. Come on. Why would redemption eventually lead to death? It’s easy for bastards like Thor who are born rich and blond to be good from the beginning. Not everyone was that lucky. The ones who do a few mistakes like genocide and stuff have no chance to become better.

“Then there is two of us,” Boba said. Loki could hear him smiling under his helmet.

Loki smiled back. Maybe this forced partnership would lead to something glorious. “Now that we’re on the same page, let’s –“

A gun fired. Loki wasn’t quick enough to react to the flash he saw. It hit Boba around his clavicle where there was only black fabric protecting him. Whoever the shooter was, they meant to kill. Loki tried to get up but he chain kept him down. Boba grunted and crawled to free Loki.

“Well, old man, let’s show them what is it like to fight two villains,” Loki said and got ready to face the threat.


	27. Reunion gone wrong

Pain awoke Din. He drew his blaster and then realized it was just a Chitauran chewing his left foot. He sighed and kicked it. The alien growled and took a few steps away.

It wasn’t Din’s style to sleep while on hunt but this time he had no choice. A fog had filled the valley, blocking the view. He had used the break for sleep. Now he was well rested and ready to continue. The Chitauri followed him quietly when he started sliding down the muddy hill.

The star of the Earth was shining brightly and the air was warm. The light made some trees look even more bright red. Din arrived at the camp, realizing it was abandoned.

There were two pairs of footprints on the ground and a bunch of random stuff. They were empty or just useless stuff, like used flagons and cans. Din doubted Nebula wanted anything of these. What did the servant have anyways? Maybe he had stolen something.

At least the servant was capable of defending himself. Din found a trail where all the grass was stamped as if something had been dragged away. It was his best clue, so he followed it.

Soon, he found another river. This was a smaller one and he was able to jump over it easily. It made the trail disappear, though. But then he saw something red on the bank of the river. Din walked towards it. It was Thor!

He ran to the god of thunder who had covered himself on his cape. His eyes were closed.

“Thor?” Din asked carefully.

Thor gasped and was about to hit Din with his hammer but stopped his hand just in time. He snorted. “Oh, it’s you.” His voice sounded thick and hoarse.

“Have you been sitting there for the whole night?” Din asked and helped Thor up, even though Thor’s weight almost pulled him down instead.

“I tried to look for him,” Thor said quietly and shook his head like a wet dog. Water splashed and smudged Din’s helmet. “His body is gone. The fish probably ate him.”

Din doubted Loki would be that delicious. “Listen. I need you to –“

Thor growled and looked at something behind Din. Oh no, the Chitauri! “No, Thor don’t!” he said, but it was too late. Thor’s hammer already smashed one’s head. The another attacked and bit Thor’s hand.

“Stop!” Din screamed and managed to block Thor’s hammer with his spear. The sound which those two metal made was strident. They probably invented a whole new pitch. “He is with me!”

Thor huffed. “What? You are dating those piranhas now?” The Chitauran took the chance and was about to attack again, but Din drove it away with the spear. The alien stared at him with his little eyes.

Din quickly explained the situation, telling Thor about his kid and the Avengers/ Nebula dilemma. “If we kill the Chitauri, I bet Nebula will know about it and think the deal has been cancelled. She will kill everyone on the ship.”

Thor nodded. “But she wants you to kill one of them, right? Maybe even she hates them.”

“I don’t think she cares about their lives. The target has something she wants,” Din said and put his spear on his back.

“I will help you,” Thor said and rubbed his face. Din noticed he was holding back tears. Maybe it was good to take Thor with him, to give him something else to think about. Even though Loki was a terrible person, he was still a brother to Thor.

“Fine for me. And it will be fine for you too, rascal,” Din said and looked menacingly at the Chitauran. He hissed back but obeyed.

They continued the search. Following the trail was more difficult since the forest quickly turned into a meadow with high grass. With all the warmth, it felt like summer.

Finally, Din spotted something on nearby a road. This wasn’t the ideal place to shoot but he didn’t want to risk missing the target again.

“Stay down. We don’t want to alert them,” Din ordered both Thor and the alien. Din prepared his rifle and looked through its scope. The view was blurry, the scope had probably got dirty in the rain. Nevertheless, he was able to perceive a figure of a Mandalorian looking helmet. But there was also someone else with the servant.

“Who’s that with him?” Thor asked.

“I can’t see it well,” Din said and ensured the gun was loaded. He wasn’t sure how strong the fake-helmet would be, so he aimed below. “I will let them go. Nebula only mentioned one person.”

“He’s not one of the Chitauri,” Thor said and took a few steps closer. “I will go look.”

“Thor no!” Din hissed. And then everything went downhill.

The Chitauran couldn’t resist Thor’s juicy muscles and attacked. Or maybe he had thought Din had ordered him to attack. Anyways, at the same time the alien pushed Din, making his gun go off.

Thor and the Chitauran started a wrestling match. They rolled in the grass until the Chitauran realized it couldn’t win. It started running wildly towards the target, probably screaming for back-up. Din went after it, getting ready to finish the target.

But what was waiting for him across the road shocked him. It was Loki! And the target… the target looked awfully lot like…

Boba Fett.

“Well, look who is ruining the party again,” Loki said and turned up his nose. He looked good for a drowned person. He waved his hands and before Din realized, the lightsabers hanging on his belt flied to Loki’s hands. He turned them on and held them in a strike-ready position. “Wasn’t slaughtering me enough? Are you going for your own kind now? Helping Thanos with his little plan?”

“First off, I didn’t kill you, you’re alive. Second, I don’t know what the hell is Fett doing here.” Din heart was beating fast. Accidentally murdering his friend was a new experience even for him. “Did it hit any vitals?”

“Tis but a scratch,” Boba muttered and stood up. Blood was spilling out of the bullet wound. He covered it with his hand. Din took a step closer to help but Loki blocked the path with his lightsaber.

“You ignoble bounty hunters really do anything for a coin,” Loki snapped. “I might have spared you but siding with Thanos is inexcusable.”

“Wait, this is not what it looks like,” Din hurried to say. “I’m doing this for Grogu. Put the swords down, enough blood has been shed.” Oh boy, what was Boba thinking of him now? On another universe, still on trouble and most importantly, _still missing his kid._

“You think I’d let you just execute us? Loki was ready for a fight. Din was preparing to block the strike with his spear.

“Loki! Loki! Is it really you?” Thor shouted while running closer. He looked like puppy when he ran to his brother, not caring about the conflict. Loki turned the lightsabers off to not hurt him. Thor’s muscular arms squeezed Loki.

“Ouch, my ribs,” Loki sizzled. Din noticed that somewhere in that shocked face there was joy, too.

“I thought you drowned.” Thor let Loki go. “I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Loki sneered. “It was close. But Boba Fett here, who your friend wants to murder, saved me just in time.”

Din doubted Boba had done it for pure heroism. What had brought him here in the first place? And why was he having a picnic with Loki? But the most important question was: why did Nebula want Din to kill Boba?

“Let me help him,” Din pleaded to Loki.

“Shut up, get away with your stupid alien dog,” Loki snarled. He turned the lightsabers on again and walked in front of Boba.

“What made you shoot?” Boba asked. He was calmly trying to find a first aid kit from his bags. Din was glad he hadn’t decided to disintegrate Boba as whole, or at least the charge of the rifle had been interrupted in time.

“It was an accident,” Din explained. “A woman called Nebula told me to kill you. That you’re her servant.”

Boba gave a laugh. “Servant? The audacity of that woman,” he muttered and held a towel against his wound. “She really took revenge before I even betrayed her.”

“Betrayed her?” Loki’s jaw dropped. “What? So you were fattening me for Thanos all this time?”

“He doesn’t plan to eat you,” Boba noted. “He has plans for much worse.”

“Great,” Loki muttered.

“Also,” Boba said and grunted in pain, “I know why Nebula is after me.” He dug up something from his bag. It was shining blue cube in a glass container.

It was the Tesseract. Din's possible way home.


	28. Everyone loves the Tesseract

The pieces were falling into place for Loki. The Tesseract was with Boba, Boba was with Thanos. He couldn’t believe it. When he had finally found a relatable person and potential friend, they were here to kill him.

“Well, well. Seems like we have the intruder who was in Asgard,” Loki said. He moved the lightsaber to Boba’s neck, keeping the other one in front of Din.

“Who are you and why do you have the Tesseract?” Thor asked with a serious tone.

Boba sighed. “Let me explain. I’m Boba Fett and I came here for the Mandalorian.”

“If you were looking for him in Asgard, you’re even more lost than Mando himself,” Loki snorted.

“Shut up for a while,” Boba grunted. Loki suddenly felt like he was annoying a wounded bear. “I was passing by that galaxy Mando had disappeared in. I met an old acquaintance. He told me about the situation.”

“You know Skywalker?” Din asked.

“Wish I didn’t.”

“They were dating,” Loki noted, not being able to stop teasing Boba. That’s what you get for being a turncoat. This Skywalker was the guy Boba had told him about – some sort of local Captain America. And a Jedi. And Boba’s enemy.

“What did I just say,” Boba growled. “Anyways, I tried to track you down. But the portal was still open and I got here, too. Expect the wormhole was already collapsing – it lead me to a less attractive place than Earth.”

Been there, done that. Loki felt uneasy when he thought about dropping into the void. Imagine ending your life and then noticing you’re looking at a murderous creased grape. Loki hadn’t expected ending up in Valhalla but that sure was uncalled-for.

“I was able to convince Thanos that I was useful. Apparently, my appearance reminded him of Loki. While he was sipping some fruit juice, he ordered me and his daughter Nebula to bring you back there.” Boba inhaled, quivering. “We went to Asgard but you had already escaped. Nebula told me to steal the Tesseract and so I did.”

“And at the same time you slaughtered guards,” Thor snapped. “You will answer to that in Asgardian court.”

“Asgardian court is Odin and his mood swings,” Loki noted. Thor looked like he was about to slap Loki. Loki just grinned.

Boba wasn’t scared of Thor’s threats. Taking him to a court would probably be a bit more complicated job. “We travelled to Earth where you were said to be. I just tried collect information from local underground folk when some freak with a giant plate started going after me.”

“Rogers,” Din said absent-mindedly. He moved around nervously.

“We had those nasty Chitauri with us. They spied you and we followed you here with our ship. But then there was a storm which destroyed the ship. Our paths parted and I got the Tesseract,” Boba ended his story.

“And what did you plan to do now?” Loki asked, putting the lightsaber closer to Boba’s chin.

“I wasn’t going to bring you to Nebula. I would have negotiated a better deal to be independent from Thanos,” Boba said and bandaged his wound. Lucky for him, Din’s weapon only shot energy, not bullets.

Loki had to agree he would have done the same. Boba had it rough, having to serve two evil lords in a lifetime must be tough. Loki turned off the other lightsaber, letting Boba stand up. He would let Boba live.

“Well, I’m sorry to say this, but I have to bring the Tesseract to Nebula. She wanted your body too, Loki, but I think I’ll let you live.” Din drew his blaster. “She has hidden Grogu somewhere. I have to know where.”

Loki had to control himself that he wouldn’t slit Din in half. Boba grabbed Din’s gun and bend it down. Din didn’t resist.

“We will we get your child back. Two gods and two bounty hunters – is there something we couldn’t do?”

“Fair point. Why are we afraid of one blue chick? Let’s go,” Thor cheered. Boba packed his stuff. They started walking back to the gas station, not through the forest but along the road.

The awkward silence was thick when they walked. Thor tried to fish more information from Boba without success. Then Loki started feeling like they had forgotten something.

Oh right. “Where did the Chitauran go?” Loki asked. The alien wasn’t behind them or anywhere to be seen.

Din turned around and noticed the same. “He is probably on his way to tell everything to Nebula. We need to hurry.”

“Let’s go straight line distance then. Try to keep up with us, homicidal knights,” Thor said and grabbed Loki’s waist.

Loki yelped. “Hey what are you doing –“

Thor swinged his hammer, launching them into the sky. Loki couldn’t help screaming. He had always wanted to fly too but not in Thor’s arms like a damsel in distress.

Behind he saw that Boba had done the same. Din didn’t seem to be fan of the sport either. Loki almost wished Din would fall down, and considered making it happen with The Force, but decided not to. For Boba. Who would have deserved death, too. Dammit. Loki really should leave being a moral police to Thor.

The forest became a green mess under them as the wind whistled in his ears. They arrived at the ship in no time, the metal can duo came a bit later.

The ship looked abandoned. The lights were out and the door was closed. Loki became invisible to not reveal himself to Nebula.

“Where did you put Loki?” Din asked.

“Do you have attachment issues? I’m right here, dear,” Loki teased and touched Din’s shoulder plate which had an embossing of some sort of horned creature. Din grabbed his wrist and slammed him to the ground.

Loki’s back hit the ground. “Ouch, save that ferocity for Nebula.”

Din snorted. “Natasha and Steve aren’t here anymore. Nebula may have taken them hostage, too. We need a plan.”

“Or we just bash in there and take her out,” Boba suggested. He took his rifle. Thor nodded in agreement.

Din shook his head. “No. I can’t risk anything. Boba, I’ll need you to give me the Tesseract. I’ll pretend that I’ve done my part of the deal. Once she reveals where Grogu is, you attack.”

“Your filthy mortal hands aren’t touching the Tesseract,” Loki hissed. The Tesseract was his. His trump card and back-up plan.

“You can come with me. The deal mentioned a Loki pelt, so play as dead as your brain and you’ll be fine,” Din said and reached his hands towards Boba. Hesitantly, Boba gave the Tesseract to Din. Loki thought he could have created an illusion replica but he guessed Din wouldn’t trust him to do so. And to be honest, that was wise. Nebula charring Din would be great entertainment.

Din kept the Tesseract on display and approached the ship. The door opened automatically. No one knew that Loki snuck behind him. Who knew what kind of evil deals Din would come up with next? He had to hear it.

The Avengers were sitting on the left side. Tony looked like he was about to craft a nuke with his toes next if no one would free him. Clint was pretending to be in a movie scene and said lines like: “I’ve seen nothing, I won’t tell you anything!”. Poor Bruce had to play the bad cop. He said spiritlessly: “Bold words from a man called Hawkeye.”

If they only had been so enthusiastic about getting out of here, this whole mess could had been avoided. Now Nebula got up from the cabin seat and greeted Din.

“Uhh, nice play you got going on here,” Din started.

“It was nice until Hawkeye killed my character. Can I please play someone else next? I can be your femme fatale, Clint. Red lipstick and fishnet tights, you know,” Tony said. His bags under his eyes told that he hadn’t been able to sleep for the whole night. “Wait, is that what I think it is?” His eyes widened when he noticed the Tesseract. Din didn’t answer.

“They are driving me insane,” Nebula snorted. But she seemed a bit amused, too. “I see you have got the Tesseract. Now get your aspiring actors and leave. I’ll ignore the fact that you left the servant alive. Follow the river downstream, you’ll find Chitauri there and your child, too.”

So Nebula had seen their arrival. Which meant she had probably seen him too. Damn, that was bad. Hopefully, she would just think her eyes were seeing things. How well could you see with those dark eyes anyways?

Din nodded and handled over the Tesseract. If Loki grabbed it right now… it was so close, the freedom and power, doors to everywhere…

Damn it. He couldn’t resist. His hands grabbed it on their own. At the same time, Thor and Boba rushed into the ship.

Nebula let out a battle cry and tried to pull the Tesseract back. Loki’s grip held.

“Where is Loki?” Boba asked with a worried voice. Oh sweet, was he playing a father now?

Loki turned visible and grinned while taking the Tesseract from Nebula. She drew her electric batons. “Don’t worry, here I am.” Loki held the Tesseract high up, keeping it out of Nebula’s reach.

Surprisingly, she smiled. “Poor thing. You will wish you had drowned,” Nebula hissed and hit Loki with her electroshock batons. He had no space to dodge and no time to reach his lightsabers. The electricity shocked him and forced his muscles to cramp. The Tesseract slipped out of his hands.

Boba wasted no time and started shooting Nebula with his rifle. The bullets teared her metallic skin. She screamed but instead of backing off, she continued fighting Loki.

The ship’s wall felt hard against his back. Loki drew his lightsaber and tried to protect himself but Nebula’s rage was too much. She punched him in the face. Her punch was way more powerful than a normal human’s – its force was enough to break the half-finished wall – and throw Loki on the ground outside.

Pain. And blood. It filled Loki’s nostrils and made him cough. His head, it hurt like his body after Hulk smash. He heard Thor scream and running to him. Loki tried to stay conscious but blood from his forehead dripped on his eyes. His vision turned black and the noises faded out.


	29. Setbacks and hope

“This is exactly what should have not happened,” Boba cursed and turned his head to Nebula. She smiled and corrected her hand’s joints as they had been displaced in the hit. Din picked up the Tesseract while Thor hopped after Loki.

Nebula let out a deep laugh. “That was just some regards from my father. Keep the Tesseract safe and sound, I’ll come back for it. Now, I believe your child is waiting. Waiting to meet his new sister.” She winked and jumped out of the broken roof. She whistled and a couple of Chitauri ran to her. There was one bigger one who walked on all-fours, so she dropped on its back and rode away.

Din was going after her, but Boba grabbed his cape. “Don’t go. With the Tesseract, we have the high ground. She can’t leave Earth without it. Grogu is too precious to be harmed, he is so far safe. We may have bigger problems now.”

“Your new protégé can bleed to death if you ask me,” Din snorted. Stupid Loki had ruined everything again.

Boba didn’t stay for arguments. He jumped through the newly-made hole in the wall. Din turned his back and started freeing the Avengers by cutting their ties.

“Where are Natasha and Steve?” Din asked.

Tony rubbed his wrists and stretched his arms. “They weren’t with you?”

Din shook his head. Where had they gone? Maybe they were just having a lunch at the gas station.

The others went to look at Loki, so Din hesitantly went too. He dropped on the field and walked closer. Oof. It looked like Loki’s head had been dipped in red paint. Why had Nebula targeted Loki? Sure as hell he did deserve a punch but it wasn’t worth losing the Tesseract.

Thor was wiping the blood away with his cape. He tried to wake Loki up but Boba stopped him. “Don’t. We have to get him somewhere safe now,” Boba said and bandaged Loki’s head with dressings he had taken from his bags.

Thor picked in Loki up carefully. His legs were swinging limply. “Let’s go back to the cottage.”

“But how about Grogu?” Din asked anxiously. If Boba would lend his jetpack, Din could make it before Nebula. “Give me your jetpack. I’ll go and see if I can find him.”

Boba nodded and gave the jetpack to him. It was heavy and half full of fuel. Din wished he hadn’t had left his own on Tython. It would have saved him from a lot of trouble. He turned the gas on and started flying along the river, upon the trees.

His heart was racing. His eyes were searching for anything. After countless trees, he spotted a place where the bushes had been removed and piled up.

Din landed slowly. His caution was useless since the camp was already abandoned. His helmet revealed a mess of foot prints. Within them, there was a couple humanlike prints, too. Probably some poor hikers had become Chitauri’s breakfast.

The trail led him to a rugged gulley. On the bottom, there was a pile of slaughtered Chitauri. His heart beat faster as he checked the gulley; no signs of Grogu. Has he killed all the Chitauri?

Then, he heard loud thumps behind his back. He turned around, the spear ready.

Nebula was sitting on the dog-like Chitauran’s back. It growled at Din and bared its horrifying teeth. Nebula’s face was like a storm. “Did you kill them?”

“You lied to me.” Din aimed the spear at her.

“I didn’t. You betrayed me, again. No more deals. I will just kill you where you stand.”

She jumped off the Chitauran’s back, her batons in front of her. Din directed them away with his spear. To his surprise, they hit Nebula herself. She screamed and dropped on the ground.

The alien dog, however, wasn’t affected. It attacked on Din, pinning him against the cliff. Its body was pure muscle, the claws and teeth were like knives. Din had a quick thought that this one was far more dangerous than any other Chitauri. It tried to tear the beskar apart like meat. Before Din was able to fight back, the dog found out that his neck was only protected by his cape. The claws pierced his skin and made him yelp.

With all his force, he kicked the beast on its stomach. It made a drum-like sound which distracted the beast just enough. Din got his vibro-knife and shoved it on the alien’s neck. Dark blood spilled out. It kept opening its jaws, trying to eat Din like a carcass.

Nebula had recovered from her shock. She stared at Din arrogantly. “You know it won’t stop until you’re dead?”

“I don’t waste my time fighting pets,” Din said and turned the jetpack on. It launched him from under the alien’s belly. Noticing Nebula’s baton on the grass, he picked it up and hit her with it. She wasn’t prepared and screamed in surprise. Din captured her with his arms and barely escaped the dog’s jaws.

She struggled like a snake but Din stubbornly flied higher. Soon, she realized that she wouldn’t survive the fall.

“Your filthy kid isn’t with me. I don’t know where he is,” Nebula hissed. “Probably inside some Chitauran’s belly.”

“Getting eaten has become a hobby for him at this point,” Din blurted. Nebula would tell him where the kid was, sooner or later.

The flight was awkward. Din just focused on looking at the pale clouds travelling the blue sky. Finally, he saw the cottage’s yard. Which was filled with BS Clunker. The ship almost covered the whole yard.

Din landed. He held Nebula in rear naked choke, keeping her neck in a tight hold. Tony was outside, trying to desperately fix the hole on the ship’s wall.

“Oh, you brought a gift,” Tony called out. He had creating some sort of small machine. He dropped a screw.

“You should get some sleep,” Din noted.

“Dude, I have the world record of all-nighters. Besides, I gotta make sure we have a fire escape. Just for emergencies.” He stared at Nebula.

Din nodded and dragged Nebula inside. Bruce and Clint were cooking in the kitchen. Bruce had flour all over his hair.

“Anyone got handcuffs?” Din asked. He squinted his eyes, trying to realize what they were trying to cook, because that dough looked like it was about to grow a pair of legs and walk out.

Clint sought his pockets and threw a pair to him. “Always having these for work.”

“Yeah, work. Not for those femme fatales you meet at night,” Bruce said and tried to look at a recipe on his phone.

“Shut up. What happens in plays, stays in plays,” Clint said as Din chained Nebula to a chair. Din knew she would probably use it against him any moment, but where the hell was he supposed to put a hunk cyborg lady? He grabbed a piece of paper towel and held it on his neck's wound.

“I see you didn’t find your kid,” Bruce said. He added even more flour and the dough looked like a piece of quartz now. Tony could use it to repair the ship.

“Unfortunately, no. But she will tell me where he is. You haven’t seen Steve and Nat?”

Clint shook his head lightly. A wrinkle appeared on his forehead. Din wondered where had the duo gone. Hopefully they were alright. But something told Din that wasn’t the case.

“How about Loki?” Din asked.

“In his room. Not really in a talking mood,” Clint said.

“Well, that’s unusual. Watch Nebula,” Din said and walked to Loki’s room. Carefully, he cracked the door and peeked inside. He opened the door fully when he saw Boba sitting on the bed. Loki, still unconscious, was lying under the sheets while Boba cleaned his forehead. Thor was staring outside from the window, leaning against the windowsill.

Boba raised his head. He wasn’t wearing his helmet. “I assume you found nothing.”

Din nodded. Boba stood up and pushed Din gently to the hallway. He closed the door, leaving Thor and Loki alone.

“I have to tell you something,” Boba said. “I don’t want Thor to hear it. He hates me enough already.”

“I almost got his brother killed. You aren’t alone,” Din replied. He tilted his head slightly.

Boba checked that no one was around to hear them. “Straight to the point: Thanos may be able to control Loki.”

“What?”

“There’s a staff, called the Scepter, that controlled Loki earlier. Apparently, he had broken the mind control on his own, but one of Thanos’ henchmen told that there’s a possibility that the spell never truly broke.”

“Are you saying that he can go nuts any moment?”

Boba nodded. “Nebula’s punch possibly triggered the spell. I need you to keep a close eye on him. If he acts weird, you know what to do. This Thanos isn’t someone you want to mess with. And trust me, I have experience of that kind of people.” He looked at Din’s eyes seriously. If Boba thought this was bad, it had to be. “Second thing. The Tesseract is the only way home. Under any circumstances, we cannot give it away.”

“We need a ship, too. Something stronger than BS Clunker,” Din noted. He was relieved that Boba was now here. Finally, someone with a common sense. Someone from his universe.

“Its name is BS Clunker? Fitting.” Boba sneered. “Try to get Nebula tell where the child is. After we get him back, we will deal with the ship problem.”

They shook hands. Din felt like this all would work out, after all.

Of course it wouldn’t.


End file.
